The Fone is the Phucked

It has happened again. Every now and then something happens in my life that makes me realise that this is not for me. Every now and then. It has happened again!

The fone is the phucked!

This is not new to me. It does not even hurt anymore. The wound has become numb. It is the same story every few months. Each time, the “The end” may be different but the story is still the same.

The “The end” this time - My Nokia just died on me and it refused to wake up. Its dead!
Oh ya.. post sales service at E Zone at Sigma mall sucks. Dont go there! (I hear they over price too)

I am glad in a way that its been over 40 hours and I dont have a vibrator in my pocket silently titillating me at the oddest hours and the insanest times of the day. Its like a blessing in disguise if you look at it from one side - The Right side. I have constantly hated cellular phones and lately developed an aversion towards other cell phone using individuals. They should teach cell phone etiquette in school.
In the first place, I have constantly sucked at handling the device, fuck the etiquette. Only I know how much efforts have gone into keeping cell phones in one piece with me hitting walls as I walk.

My first 4 cell phones have been expensive(by my standards) handsets. Spent a good <two digit number> grand for each of them, each state of the art at that particular instant of time(Time is such an illusion I tell you… in just a couple of days your phone is outdated. Bitch!).

But now I have come up with a whole new approach of handling the responsibility of a cell phone and wish to call it - The ULTIMATE guide to manage cell phones for dummies. I have, over time and experience collected enough data to substantiate my claim.

On an average, the life time of a cell phone is 10 months.. at the most. The reasons that the life of a cell phone would seize would be:

1. It just dies on you(Like this time).
2. Falls into water.
3. Falls into the sea.
4. Falls into your beer.
5. Beer falls on it.
6. It falls of your pocket.
7. It gets stolen from your pocket.
8. It gets stolen from your car.
9. It gets stolen from your friend’s house. It is the maid but you have no proof.
10. A bike runs over it.
11. A bus runs over it.
12. You get mugged
13. The screen fails. You give it for repair. The guy doesn’t give it back for 6 months and running…(That basturd!)
14. You throw it against the wall (Because you are super drunk)
15. You throw it against the wall (Because you are super pissed)
So on and so forth.

Reasons, however much trivial (numbers 1,3,5,9, 13 apply to me, some of them more than once), may be numerous, but the result is the same. It is always “The end”

Another important factor to consider are the features on these babies. Most, oh so ludacris!

My most modern phone had a 2 mpix cam and blue tooth, stupid games and an mp3 player. I have sufficient data to support that the average usage of all the features in a phone(except calling and texting) is 1/3669th of the average usage of the phone for texting and calling. So, in eventuality the usage of calls and texting is considerably huge and hence it can be, ignoring the errors in calculations involved, summarized that the main use of the invention called cellular phone is to make calls and texting. (And seriously, these days there is all kinds of shit in the market – i-pods, PSPs, Crazy cameras, personal planners, dildos etc that one can rather use a cell phone for its primary purpose)

In conclusion, I am going to hence forth go for the cheapest handset available in the market and use it only for calling and texting (as little as possible). Cheap handsets come with an added advantage that they can be made to fall around without having to have a needle down the heart every time it does. Its a clear choice of a cheap handsets for shorter durations over state of the art shit.

The ULTIMATE guide to manage cell phones for dummies rule 1 and only:

Buy cheap handsets!

Twitter update: Upgraded from a Nokia 1200 to a Nokia 1202

The W700i

The Sony Ericson W700i comes in two colours. A jazzy white with a flashy orange border and keys and a more mellowed down Titanium Gold(as they call it) with chrome keys. Like all Sony phones, this too has a very comfortable and well animated UI unlike the Nokia or the Motorola ones in the same range and a very simple phone to use. The screen is pretty big for its time with amazing clarity. It is a walkman phone, and there are no complaints about the performance of the music on this phone either.

This phone comes with a standard 256 MB memory card. I had it upgraded the memory to 1GB which was the only expenditure I had incurred in the almost 2 years of using my W700i. No complaints what so ever. However there are a couple of places where a few things could be worked on.

I have always been a fan of joystick phones. Its a matter of whether you like it or not. I just happen to be one of the "I like joystick" person. Till about the last few days of my usage, the joystick also performed pretty well as opposed to the reviews I had got about it. The great thing about the joystick on Sony phones is that the joystick performs very well with very well defined movements unlike say a Nokia joystick phone where you always have to HOPE that it functions the way you want it to.

The 2 mega pixel camera on this phone is fantastic. The advantage with this phone in terms of photography is that the camera comes with a zoom facility. Also with the moving camera, the zoom facility holds good and there is no fixed length of the file. The best part of the camera on this phone is the flash which is very very bright which can be doubled as a torch as well. Comes in very handy ;)

The games on this phone are also pretty interesting. "Qudra-pop", a Tetris based game is very well designed and perfect to play when whilst whiling away time in a bus/train journey. My top score on that was 876670 :). The battery backup is pretty good too. It once survived for 4 days straight without giving up. Over all 9 on 10 for battery backup.

Here are My Ratings for the phone:

Looks: 6 on 10 (Sony has made better looking phones. The white one is better looking)
Usability: 8.5 on 10 (For non joystick preferring people, go for the W810i which is almost similar)
User Interface: 9 on 10
Java apps: 7 on 10
Walkman: 9 on 10
Camera: 8 on 10

Overall: 8 on 10

There are a few places where the phone could have done better. Since its a walkman phone, there could have been better controls for music in the hands free. Also the plug and play button is kinda delicate which makes the music play even when unintended. A very good buy for people who are trying to get used to a joystick phone. I had brilliant 2 years and a whole lot of memories with mine.

Hello!!! Anybody there???

The mobile phone has become the single most insaparable thing in my life and i am sure it is the same with most if not all others existing in the world today (and when i say world, i mean the people interact with every day, so who would socially fit into my circle of friends or acquaintances). "SMS" or "text" have become the preferred and the ideal mode of communication these days.

Apart from communication ofcourse, there is also messages exchanged on the phone which usually dont mean anything but are just passed around for entertainment purposes. We call them the FWDs.... just like the attachments and forwards that are jamming up the mail servers all around the world(again the referance is the same world i was talking about previously)

These are some of the messsages that i have come accross in my life with my mobile phone. Some are forwards and some are just messages which either I sent or people sent it to me.... I just thought i would make an archive of the most interesting ones. Ill keep updating this as and when i can and something interesting comes up.



* $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ *

$-$ Your mind thinks so fast that the physical action to be performed will become very slow. It is a kind of amnesia. You wont remember what you were supposed to do. It feels like you are lost. since the mind thinks fast, you feel that the hands of the clock have lost its energies.Even they are lazy. God made grass. Respect the creation, praise the creator. I feel like god.


$-$ Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of alcohol


$-$ Life's dissappointments are harder to take when you dont know the swear words - Calvin and Hobbes


$-$ Help a girl in trouble and she will always help you when she is in trouble again


$-$ I know you are asleep and even if you are awake, you wont reply. Anyway, you should choose me because I know how life is with you and how life is after loosing you and I can never think of loosing you again. Too bad that anyone else would never get to know what it is without you. I love you


$-$ I smoke away my glory days... luking at old things in newer ways... speakin to my friend who isnt really there..i dont sniff inregret... but it helps to forget... the secrets ive kept inside, never shared... i trip i slide n even glide thro the drownin lectures and chaotic nights...with my friend always beside... whenever i fall down in dispair... he lifets me up... and points towards my grave...the devil whispers, as i stare... we re almost there buddy... we are almost there


$-$ Why is that feeling what the questions talk of is considered wrong? Isn't it a matter of choice... choice of if you want to feel dominant and right or you dont care if you are right or if the world thinks you are submissive... Whats so wrong with feeling lost for a while? If you want to have a real feel of happiness, dont you think its important to have a real feel of sorrow? Can you live life with total contentment? Aren't we here to simply live life?

$-$ Betta... Beer.. 2 Pint... Lo sweetheart senti good NIGHT msg kalsidlu. Ond thara touch aaayithu... Nanu Ond reverse senti kalusbitte. He he... u and mama there?

$-$ There are two great days in a person's life - The day we are born and the day we discover why

$-$ If I love myself despite my infinite faults, how can i hate anyone at the glimpse of a few faults?

$-$ Never take life seriously... Nobody gets out alive anyway


$-$
Mahesh prasad HOTELna masale dose,
SJCE canteen na khali dose,
Guru Sweets na mysore paku,
ksrtc stop na egg riceu,
dental college na pani puri,
aishwarya restaurantna kulcha kaju masala,
RMC du khara mandakki mirchi,
vani gotrada masala tea,
Bopys na chilled draugth beer,
GP's na old monk cokeu,
Idu "Mysore" na taste - bere yellu sigalla...

Proud to be a mysorian


$-$ Cheers man!!!


$-$ If life throws lemons at you, dont make lemonade.... Think out of the box - Ask for taquila and salt


$-$ And thus the sun has set on Teja's empire


$-$ Hoskote se consignment aa raha hain ;)


$-$ I pray to the god that any person who tries 2 screw your happiness, may his ass begin to itch and his hand grom shorter that he cannot reach his ass to scratch it ;)


$-$ thu baddetava, hudgiru andre maiyella *****, avalu 1 msg kalsangilla, nigrskondu 10 kalsteira, navilli thika harkond msg madidru ond msg illa, nim janmakke


$-$ Maga i am very sad... As i am out from the college... So please buy me a full old monk for the last time... So that i can forget this side moment... Ill be waiting for your call or your message... And i am ready to come and pick up the bottle anywhere.... :) and ill be waiting

OBITUARY

OBITUARY:
3.5 inches tall, 1.3 inches wide, .2 inches thick.extremely cute, very helpful and very intelligent.Ir port, poliphonic and monophonic ring tones, joystick etc
you may not be with us but you will always remain in our hearts
The sony ericson T- 310 (OCT 7th 2003 - DEC 26th 2004)
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This world is not a nice place to live in. That is because bad things happen to good people.
It was just another satarday, infact it was a special satarday. That was because it was the Christmas day of the year 2004. My friends and I were having just the usual evening out, having a few beverages and chilling out. The usual thoughts exchanged, and talking into the night, knowing fully well that the next day being a sunday would pass off peacefully, a day consisting of mostly spending on the bed.
Who ever knew that what was about to happen would change our lives.[by "ours", i mean mine and paddus] We woke up jut as usual and, by the time we could gather our thoughts from the hangover of over sleep, our mobile phones, our only source of communication was gone, gone for ever. Life would never be the same again. Disaster had struck. An unchangeable damage had been done.
Its been more than 24 hours now, with no clue or our electronic pocket partner, our entertainment unit, the fully functional calendar and more improtantly a friend. I guess we will deal with it, but i request all of you, take care or your mobile device, cos life may not be the same again
Till now, i have not been able to get myself a new mobile partner, cos the memories of my old mate still haunts me.
You can say i am immobile now.
NOT wishing you the same