Random Disorder

He had had a pathetic day. He hadn’t slept well for the past 3 days. Yesterday night was the worst. He had got about 2 hours of sleep. Today seemed to be going to dogs. He was irritated because of the lack of sleep which seemed to be worsening the effect. He didn’t have the patience to speak to anyone. Just to comfort himself, he tried calling anyone who could remotely comfort him. Nothing seemed to work. He got back home. The whole place was a mess. A shoe on the bed, a dumbbell on the laptop, clothes and news papers lying everywhere. Absolute chaos. Random disorder. Not just the place. His whole life was. A random disorder. He took off his shoes. He needed some time for himself. Something nice and pure and complete. He contemplated suicide. He decided to smoke a cigarette instead. The power failed. Lit a match. The sweet smell of tobacco seemed to comfort him. It relieved him of the puzzle of life. He stubbed the filter and went off to sleep.

"Am not a quitter.... OR AM I?"

I have been smoking cigarettes for over 6 years. Not that I am proud of the fact that I am but, still, just for records, its been 6 years. My first cigarette was a Gold Flake King Size. Having lived in India for most of my life, I have been dominated by cigarettes from ITC, but my lungs have also been tarred by some not ITC cigarettes, mostly foreign, and also some of our more local beedis.

I have never been a chain smoker. In my defense, for a chain smoker, there are certain patterns, which are not found in me. Basically a chain smoker sticks to one brand of cigarettes and sticks to one pattern of smoking, neither of which are found in me. My brand of cigarette usually depends on the money I have, the time of the day, the company around, my health condition and the mood of the moment.

Anyway, having smoked so many different brands of cigarettes, I feel that the impact the pack of cigarette makes on a person looking at it is high. I have always personally liked smart looking cigarette packets. And I have no doubt that till a few days ago, ITC Classics came out with the smartest of cigarette packets. It was a pleasure to place a Classic packet in your hand, be it "The Classic Regular", "The Classic Milds" or even the (U/A) rated "Classic Ultra Milds" or "The Classic Menthol". The color combination of the packets were just super Smart. The Maroon - Golden Regulars, The White Purple Milds, The White Green Menthol and the all silver ultra milds. It used to feel nice to smoke a ITC Classic, and it was not just the nicotine.

I wonder why change is often necessary. Classics are out with new packaging for their cigarettes. A pathetic change I feel. I happen to catch a glimpse of the Milds in a girly blue and the Ultra Milds in a silver/gold packet with a saxophone on it. Just Disgusting. I probably will quit smoking in protest to this change. My protests probably wont affect anyone. So probably ill just buy loose cigarettes... no boxes. ;)

Statuary warning: "Smoking is relaxing"

In the 24 odd years of existance on this planet, as a social being, I have been asked tonnes of questions by tonnes of people. It some how fits into the scheme of things - Asking and answering questions.

Of the questions I have answered, over the last 5 years the most common question I have been quizzed with is, "Why do you smoke?"(and mostly this there is a tone which is associated with this, the same tone which is probabally used in a police introgation) One of the wierdest questions, and I have I guess tackled it with ease, answering it in a way it satisfies the person who asked the question in question. Anyway, most of them have been lies. How else do you think I can say whatever I am going to say in the following lines to every Tom, Dick or whoever.....

A cigarette has been my single most reliable companion for 5 years now. Every once in a while I feel that everyone feels a need to just unplug from life and spend a quiet moment alone. And it gets lonely out there on those unplugged outings. This is the time in life when the cigarette comes in. Its just there, with you, just sharing your misery, just not asking anything in return, not asking anything atall infact.

Once the cigarette is out of the pack and shoved between the lips is when the fun starts. Its a very strange comforting feeling when this peice of paper sits between the lips. Its just freedom re-incarnated. Before the actual process of lighting the cigarette, the instant a match is struck, the feeling of "AMEN! And there shall be light in your life" occurs. Once the fire hits the tip of your cigarette, the sound of burning fresh tobaccoo is very soothning to the ear. The first drag I think the best drag in a smoke. The smell of burning tobacco, the touch of the white smoke inside the lungs, the flavour of the tobacco on the tongue, the heat which touches you from within, all these gel up and gave a "out of the world" effect on the mind. Its just too relaxing.

So thats what I do. I smoke to relax. So stop asking me that....