Stamping Feet

 When we were in school, we used to play a game we used to call Stamping Feet. The object of the game fairly simple and the rules were subject to change on the fly. It was basically a single player game and one person was considered out, a decision which we would come to based on “claps”(a complex method of eliminating and finding one random person in a group). The person who is out became the "catcher" and had to, with his shoes touch one of the other's. On success, the stamper would become the catcher and the stampee would join the rest of us and thus and the game continued. It was not really restricted to mere touching, it could also be stamping ( hence the name of the game ), kicking, tripping, anything that involved in contact between two things - one of them the shoes of a well fed, constantly sugar high, 15 year olds.

 On week days the bullies made merry. Thanks to the leather shoes which we were forced to use, the cheaper the shoe, the heavier it was and getting kicked by one was not a pleasant experience. No one really messed with the bullies. On week ends it was PT day and we were supposed to wear white canvas shoes. On these days, the game was quicker and it was more about technique and swiftness. Saturday games were more glamorous and usually included extra audience, the ones who were late and couldn't get their hands on the 1 basket ball, 1 volley ball and 4 shuttle rackets that were the only possessions of the PT department.  So with people(girls) watching and things like fame, name, 2 chewing-gums etc at stake the guys with the right body / brain / attitude for the game excelled and entertained. No one messed with the bullies on Saturdays too.

 The rest of us got fucked every day.

 The bullies went on to become politicians and real estate agents and the really rich people with loads of black money.

 The "body and brain" ones went on to become movie stars and sportsmen and entrepreneurs.

 The rest of us are still getting fucked every day.

Happy New Year

8th day of the year is not too late to post a post about new years. But it aint all that early either. Either ways no apologies :)

Happy New Year 2009 came and went by without causing too much change in my life. Except that hence forth, I have to give my writing a second glance when I am hand writing dates. One gets so used to writing [something]/[something]/08 on every place I have to make a date entry that hence forth, at least for the first couple of months I have to be observant as to what my hand writes subconsciously ( on that note, now I wonder if I have written the correct year in the date I have dropped for the Credit card :|)

Talking of sub conscience, I believe I have been blessed with a sub conscience which, in comparison with a lot of people I know, is better than their living selves. Why do I say this? I have no clue... So coming back from the tangent, the "Happy New Year" of 2009 had me driving to a coffee estate close to Chikkamangalore and party.

A gang of 5 (2 Indians, two NRIs and I) left my work place (I don’t work with any of the other 4 but we happened to leave from my work place because it’s my car ;) ... so much for modesty) at around lunch time. The drive was excellent, with a couple of stops for

1. Fuel for the car
2. Fuel for us
3. Fuel for the night!

We landed in the coffee estate (the name I am trying to recall, but dont seem to do so) by around 9 and got into our cozy rooms. We were given a house on the first floor of a house built in the middle of this estate. Very comfortable rooms with clean bathrooms, which for me is high priority - clean bath rooms; so that I can fuck it up by the time I check out. Once we had changed and stuff (oh my god, my friends are such girls I tell you... they take ages to fuckin take off their trousers and get into tracks... I can never accept a MAN taking ages to get ready... that too to go get drunk... that too in the night... and that too when there are just 5 of us who have known each other for a decade almost and who just spent 8 hours in a car together) we got to eat amazing food. The idea was to eat little so that we could drink a lot and then grab the dinner, but then the food was so good that we all ate our stomachs full. I faintly remember one of us saying "chuck the party, lets hit the sack" but I also remember, that thought was comfortably trashed and the who’s ever thought it was got completely smashed (wow that rhymes also).

We gathered around a badly burning bon fire at around 11. Everything was set. There was the left over food from our dinner (which was hardly anything, everything was in our stomachs) and there was lots and lots of chips and of course we had booze from the duty free shop of Frankfurt (I guess) and music (off the collection of DJ [someone] who happens to be a friend of one of us) being played in the background and cool (in fact cold) wind blowing and all that jazz.

I vaguely remember hugging all my friends at midnight and I also vaguely remember one of us making conversations with god. Rest is history. Happy New Year 2009!!

as 2009 trips by...

It is the 31st of December 2008 and the best I can do now, on this Wednesday morning, is take a look back on the year that was. Its been a remarkable year for the world and India alike with lots of important things happening this year. Its been a remarkable year for me too, with lots of important things happening in my life too.

2008 has been a year of trips for me. If I look back at this year, I realize that of the 365 days, at least 50 days I have not been at home, been out on trips and this excludes the days I spend at home in Mysore.

The year started off with the new year party that concluded in Coorg. A group of 9 guys(from college) in one car and two bikes headed towards Coorg from Bangalore. We camped in a very nice "home stay" kind of arrangement near Irrpu falls the New Year extravaganza happened just outside where we stayed with a bon fire and music being played off my car.

The next major trip was towards Goa with almost the same gang(well almost because this was a gang that consisted of my engineering classmates and not random guys from college). Another group of men set out towards Goa in a Qualis. As far as I can remember, we were about 9 guys, all cramped into one car as we headed towards Goa. One hell of a party the trip that was.

Another trip of importance before the rains hit India was a trip to Ooty. This trip had 4 of us head (3 of us lokal boys and another NRI) towards Ooty to meet another friend who runs a business there. It was a week end trip but one of extreme enjoyment because it involved night travel in the Ghats and a drive in a Honda Civic and royal hospitality at that friends hotel.

In the mean while, I had completed the few regular trips home, a couple of trips to Tumkur to meet Dr. Tango(Reason), trips to Mekedat and Muttatti falls with friends and colleagues alike.

In the August of 2008, when I usually celebrate my birthday, I was on another trip to Goa. This was one trip with extreme highlights. First, this was the first trip that I was involved in which had women in it. I have always been of the school of thought that women on trips are a major responsibility and the fun level and enjoyment level is dampened by the responsibility that accompanies. However, after this trip I am still under consideration of my promotions. Second, trip also had me drinking just a couple of beers on the whole 4 days(and not one bit of booze on my 26th), which for me is an achievement in itself because I again come from a school of thought which says that drinking is best enjoyed on trips when tomorrow is never a concern. This trip certainly is one of the best trips I have ever had in my life for reasons more than one.

I followed up this trip with another trip, this time to the beaches of Karnataka with a gang of 10 people. This was another lot of fun trip as we saw breathtaking beaches on the west coast of India. Gokarna, which has always been a place that I have dreaded and almost have respect out of fear for was so good on this trip that we ended up spending about half of our time here.

Next major trip I had was pretty major even by my standards. Me and "the tall mallu" took a week off from work and we headed on a road trip with destination unknown. 9 days with most social contact with just one other person is a complex situation. Trips sometimes can be more frustrating than usual times because there will be times when one will have to do something which he/she dislikes doing because the others will be interested in doing something. So the "frequency" match is very vital on trips. And this trip, like few others with this "tall mallu" was another wonderful experience with treks, train rides, bus rides, auto rides, lorry rides, truck rides, trips to the police station, sleep in the railway station and cheap and sidey lodges, a visit to all the major pubs in vizag and beaches in which there was not a human soul in the two kilometer radius. Another highlight to this trip was that we didn’t carry a camera on purpose (well actually, I dislike the concept of cameras on trips and the tall mallu would have carried one if he had one) and hence I have no proof of being on this trip. :)

I have also gone on a couple of trips to friends’ weddings. One trip to Bellary and another recently to Davengere to attend Homo’s wedding. On both the trips, “Mysore Baba” was present and hence the highlight of both the trips.

In a couple of hours, I am heading towards Chikkamangalore with another set of friends to welcome 2009.

Purse - Check
Watch - Check
Cell phone - Check
Car Keys - Check
Jacket - Check
Charger - oh fuck!

All Set, preparing launch sequence.

Get...

Set...

Go...

Monday! Green!

Tuesday Morning. I am late. Again! With the arrival of winter, my days have begun to start a little later than usual. It’s like my biological clock has undergone an "automatic day light savings" like in the US. But they haven’t changed the time here have they? So I am late again. It’s not like I SHOULD NOT be late. No one cares when I come in to work. I guess. I hope at least. But then we have this application running in office which kinda logs the in and out times of the day. And this stupid application puts in a "Late mark" smiley next to the date next to your name if you come in after 11. It’s not a big deal I suppose. But it’s something on the lines of, in school, if your shoes weren’t polished, you would be thrown out of the line. It’s not like they would do anything about it. But still, it’s a black mark... you become a dark sheep if you kinda repeat it. Its like that... So I have late marks for 5 continuous days in a row!

I am late today cos yesterday was a fuckall day! A terrible day at work! I hate Mondays. Really really hate.! Of all the mornings I have had to face in life, Monday mornings have been the worst. I've hated Mondays in school, in college and now in my so called professional life. I am yet to come to terms with this concept of 7 day weeks. What kind of a number is Seven! Seven days make one week! My ass

If it were left to me, I would have had 5 day weeks. A 5 day week with two weekends sounds so perfect. Over all I agree that the average number of productive hours in a year would reduce with this system. But now, no one works on Fridays do they? Hardly! So that would probably average out. And 5 is such a nicer number. It’s a round figure. I agree 10 is a rounder figure. But 10 day weeks would be fuckall! And another interesting thing is 365 is perfectly divisible by 5. So 5 day week actually makes so much more sense. No leap year confusions also. (For the mathematically disabled, test of divisibility by 5 is that the number has to end with either 0 or 5)


Anyhoo... he he he... that’s a funny thing to say. Anyhoo.. ANYHOOOO... I kinda picked this up from a blog I hit upon recently. I have been blog hopping these days, and in a process of continuous self improvement, I am trying to pick up interesting things from all the interesting things I get to read. I must say, there are gizillons of people out there with profound creativity and internet at their finger tips. Its crazy the kind of shit one gets to read in the blog space. One bunch of insane psychotic bloggers out there!

Anyhoo, yesterday, ie, the Monday before today... I had a bad baad day at work. I have been sitting on this bug for 3 days now. And this fuckin bug is screwing my behind all the 3 days now. I HATE my job. I HATE being a software engineer. It’s not usual for me to have a bad day at work. I don’t usually have one. Thats cos I am fuckin smart! [And people talk about modesty and all. My ass! (lol.. I picked this "my ass" also from the same blog I mentioned. The same Anyhoo shit..)]. Anyhoo, bad day at work yesterday. Bug fucking me front and back. Who better to show frustration than the boss! I need a pseudo name for the boss. (pseudo name concept again borrowed from the same blog)... Motherfucker!*

I think all bosses, irrespective of the field of work, fit very well into the definition of Motherfucker! *. Any job, if you are the boss to someone, you surely are a Motherfucker! It’s sad I agree. But that’s life. Face it… Someone out there right now, sitting in a bar would probably going “That Mother Fucker is one son of a bitch I tell you!” and he is talking about YOU.

Fuck! I hate my job. And I hate that Motherfucker* at work! Only thing that is keeping me from suicide right now is this mathematically challenged friend of mine. I want to give her a pseudo name too. Something nice. I like her. For now, let’s call her "Best Friend"* for now. Ill think of something NICE as later.

Anyhoo, like I was saying, the only thing that’s keeping me from suicide is this "bestfriend"* person and one more thing. It would be fuckin insane to die after all the dreams I have had about life. In my dream I am always the HERO. A total studd boy! And its a wonderful dream my dream! I definitely don’t want to die. Not suicide at least. But why I talk about suicide you must be wondering. I heard of a friends friend who committed the sin when I was having a "post dinner drink" with the former (the one who told me the story). The later, (friends’ friend.) popped some sleeping pills and hung himself to the ceiling fan at home. Fuckin looser!! Love case it seems. Love case! My ass!

I agree relationships and love and career and jobs and parents and all that jazz are funny and depressing most times! But whatever is the case... Suicide is a farce! It doesn’t matter if it’s your drunk husband beating the shit out of you, or if your girlfriend ditched you for the looser that you are, or your gay teacher feels your willy every day during recess... or its that Motherfucker at work getting on your nerves. Relax! Its not the end of the world!

But bottom-line! I HATE my job.! Especially Mondays. They should fuckin have 5 day weeks!

The End of an Era

Era is defined as a period of time marked by distinctive character, events, etc. So I am not too sure if "The end of an Era" is a suitable title for the blog. However, considering my life on a plate, it pretty much is the end of a period marked by distinctive character and events and etc ofcourse.

Sudhir Kumar Srinivasan is heading to the United States. Finally, I must add.

Sudhir Kumar Srinivasan known to people by more popular names. Most people call him Ski. My first memory of a conversation with this psycho was sometime in my first year. I had used some kannada slang to abuse him. He had freaked out. He had promised to get me killed that evening. That didnt happen I must admit. Its been 4 years of enigneering life and 3 years of staying together. I could go on writing paragraph after paragraph about this depressing soul; making it sound like an obituary. As a difference, I am going to put down a few words/phrases in his memory.
1. Gedde/Pappu/Ganda/Uncle/Gaandu/Yadav
2. Drunk menace
3. Spiritually Lost
4. Cheers Macha
5. Basically....
6. YD 125 - The Next Generation bike
7. Looooo
8. Mentalesh
9. Sri Sri Sri Sri....
10. Pal pal dil ke paaas
11. Bet adona??
12. Meow!!!
13. dv/dx
14. Yenne bitte!!!
15. Lo ond puff kodo...
16. CUTTTT agatte maga
17. Natural born sex maniac - Anything that moves; or not
18. underscore underscore
19. NASA (North American Sankathi Association)

All the best dude. Cheers. Take care madi... Love ya

Another page of Tejas' Diary

Events of 21st december 2006

0900 hours: The alarm in my phone has been ringing for an hour now and i have been snoozing it over and over again. Its as if the alarm is saying "Son of a bitch, get your fuckin ass off the bed and get to work and stop pushing my balls over and over again". I eventually make my mind up and start looking at what i have to do to get to work. Bare minimum is get bath and find clean clothes and leave.

1030 hours: I am already super late to work and am having breakfast with beloved SKI at our own Srinidhi Sagar. Once tomato rice bath, half a coffee. Ski is wearing a white T-Shirt and he spills coffee all over it. And i go HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

1115 house: My first cup of coffee is over. Done with dealing with my emails of yesterday. Pick up my TT racked and am heading towards the TT table. Phone rings. Ski it is.

"Hello" I say
"Teja" he says in a tone which he ususally uses when he is super drunk
"Are you bloody drunk at 11 in the morning? Are you not going to work??"
"I met with an accident"
"What?"
"hummm my leg hurts man... help me"
"Where are you dude, whats wrong??"
"I am at !#%^&&*(&^. Fell of the bike. I am badly hurt"
"Are you bleeding??"
"Ya"
"Lots?"
"I dont know... please come"
"I am leaving now. Just stay where you are. Ill call you"

1145 hours: I get to the spot, to ski sitting on the pavement alone. He is just sitting and his bike is next to him. I go up to him and check him out. He is scratched himself all over, hands, legs everything. His pretty face is unaffected. Thank you govt. of Karnataka for making helmets compulsary. I try to make him stand and he cant move. His leg is pretty fucked. People start gathering around. An auto guy comes and helps ski inside. We head to CMH.

1330 hours: After talking to about 5 doctors, and atleast 25 trips to differnt counters in the hospital, we have finally landed outside the orthopedcian. The x ray is on its way and ski says

"Man, it hurts but the nurses here are ok"
"Shut the fuck up ski, your bloody leg is screwed. They are going to amputate it HA HA HA HA"
"LO aadru... he he he he"

1345 hours: The doctor has examined both the xray and the patient. He calls me inside his chamber, while ski is being treated with some crape bandaid and crape. The doctor shows me the xray and says, "there is a fracture in his knee, and the bone that is affected is called %&^$%& which have ligaments attached to it. A surgery has to be conduted sometime tomorrow." and i am like "aa uh aa ok. Surgery? hummm... can i just go out for a minute." I really needed a smoke. Needed to figure out stuff. Should ski be operated there? I should inform his parents. There should surely be a second opinion on this. Whaat will i tell ski What will i tell his parents. Who will i tell anything. God!!!

1415 hours: I am trying real hard to contact skis parents. They are not reachable anywhere. I have gone out and made a dozen phonecalls to lots of people trying to organise things. I have decided that i have to get ski to mysore. Still have not contacted his parents. Totu is on his way down. Finally some one to share the decision making. I go down to inform the doctor this decision. There i come accross ski and a nurse having a small argument of sorts. I find out what it was and this is what i heard. The nurse has to crape his knee and she thinks she has to cut his trouser for that. Ski says its a new trouser, which he bought(or was bought) just yesterday and hence he wont allow that to happen. Guys, grow up and do something about it. Damn the trouser ski, let it go is what i thought.

1600 hours: We are in a qualis. Man the car is amazing. Ski is sitting behind, his leg fully bandaged. Me and totu are sitting in front. Ski is enjoying his "Fruit and Nut" which was bought for him at the Shell Fuel station. Me and totu enjoying our lays and pepsi. We are on our way to mysore. A ha!!! Mysore, here we come

1930 hours: Appolo hospital mysore. One more round of xrays and stuff. Doc says no surgery as yet. Cast for 4 weeks. Delux room for ski with all the pretty nurses he always fantasises about.

2400 hours: Me and totu on our way back to bangalore. Arya playing in the in car LCD screen. I am pretty stoned because of the hard days work. UFFFFF !!!!!

0900 hours the next day: The alarm in my phone has been ringing for an hour now and i have been snoozing it over and over again. Its as if the alarm is saying "Son of a bitch, get your fuckin ass off the bed and get to work and stop pushing my balls over and over again". I eventually make my mind up and start looking at what i have to do to get to work. Bare minimum is get bath and find clean clothes and leave.

I pick up my wallet to go for a cup of early morning Tea, and... and....

MY ATM CARD IS MISSING!!!!! I left it in the ATM yesterday!!!!