Today, I realised a 5 year out standing dream of riding the volvo to work. It worked great in my favor and all the smaller dreams(of reading a book on the way to work and riding in a/c on the way to work, getting to work without a backlog of "pissed-off-ness" et all) attached to this outstanding dream also came true. This considering the fact that i was told the traffic on the road today was relatively low oveing to most people taking today off as tomorrow is a festival holiday making it an almost 5 day week end.
Also tremendous change taking place at work with the appraisal cycle just coming to an end. Lot of emotions in imbalance as I have been given a considerably low rating for the efforts I have put through. Survival in the industry is a cat fight!
Am half way through this book called "love over coffee" - a Romance @ Work by Amrit N Shetty, an IT professional working in a multinational company. An excerpt from this book which found sharp pointers to my current life:
To survive in this IT jungle, one has to constantly send out signals about his or her presence. One has to make sure that his name appears in the symbolic list maintained by higher management, if he wants to get promoted or even to get a decent hike. You will not last a single day if you do not paint a positive picture of your self to your colleagues or your superiors. IT is a field where you could get killed if you loose your focus even for a second. It is like driving on Indian roads where even the best drivers can fail.
On Indian roads, one has to constantly look out for mistakes made by others and take advantage of them; knowing how to drive does help, but only a little. If you are careful driver who is averse to taking risks, you could end up spending hours in the traffic congestion, while smart drivers sneak through gaps left my the inept ones. If you are smart, you can quickly learn to drive the Indian way, but if you are foolish or one of the heady nerds, you'd be plain lucky to survive.
There are only few exceptions to the general rule and that is only because they have God fathers inside the organisation or the government.
I quickly learnt that it was easy to drive through the congestion if you followed a bus or a big van. People ahead make way for big vehicles fearing the clout thrown around by them and all one had to do to succeed is to stay close on their heels. You progress as much as the bigger vehicles. This strategy compensated for my inability to learn quickly and take advantage from mistake made by others. I was constantly making amends to my driving not because I didn’t want to win but because I did not want to get killed or stuck in the congestion.
Relatively poor written book but a good read for an IT professional. Am half way through it and is a nice read if you ride the Volvo to work! :)
Monday, March 15, 2010
Monday, May 25, 2009
IPL2
IPL continues its success story! IPL second edition ended up with a bang as well. Congratulations Deccan Chargers. You deserved to win. Good work Kumble and the Royal challengers of Bangalore as well.
Continuing from where I left it last time, here goes the bullet points of this year.
* First and foremost, SA was a super second destination for the event. Wonderful crowd. Stupid also but great also. Thanks for being there and supporting our teams and making this event a grand success
* Thank you Prieti and Shilpa is supporting a losing cause. If not for you guys, your teams had nothing to cheer about.
* Thank you AB for your amazing century, but sorry that all the credit goes to our own Manish Pandey for matching your shot to shot, fielding to fielding
* Thank you Manish Pande once again for your performance and taking your team to where you took them. Too bad you had 6 balls strike in the first 6 overs of the finals. Lets just say your team played against you. But everyone has to learn from you as to how to take a given opportunity with open arms
* Thank you KKR for your not so nice performance. But you did perform where RCB needed. So kudos to you.
* Thank you Robin Uttappa for fucking up every time you went out to bat. Next time make sure you get a contract from KKR. You will fit in there perfectly.
* Great performances guys - Hayden, RP, Dilshan, Kumble and the rest of you who did perform well
* Sachin, Saurav, Dravid, Lakshman and the rest of the fuckers who performed pathetically, just look at those kids who are performing man... dont you get a little inspiration from that?
* The vodafone adds were killer this time! Way to go zoo zoo!
* Mandira, Sameer, Arunlal, Akaash Chopra and the gang - you suck!
* Gavaskar, Shastri, Bhogle, Rameez and the gang - you suck too!
* Super over was an amazing intersting change. Super!
* Thank you IPL for making cricket a little more open and making players answerable - no more just mumbaikars like Agarkar and Ranesh Powar who have sucked at the game. The new finds should make it to the team soon - Super played boys - The Ojhas, Nayar, Jadeja, Pandey, Jakathi, Kholi, Raina, Rohit and all
Overall another awesome four weeks. Keep it going. In a couple of years there are going to be two more teams. The speculation is that they are giong to be the Lucknow loafers and the Ahamadabad assholes!
Continuing from where I left it last time, here goes the bullet points of this year.
* First and foremost, SA was a super second destination for the event. Wonderful crowd. Stupid also but great also. Thanks for being there and supporting our teams and making this event a grand success
* Thank you Prieti and Shilpa is supporting a losing cause. If not for you guys, your teams had nothing to cheer about.
* Thank you AB for your amazing century, but sorry that all the credit goes to our own Manish Pandey for matching your shot to shot, fielding to fielding
* Thank you Manish Pande once again for your performance and taking your team to where you took them. Too bad you had 6 balls strike in the first 6 overs of the finals. Lets just say your team played against you. But everyone has to learn from you as to how to take a given opportunity with open arms
* Thank you KKR for your not so nice performance. But you did perform where RCB needed. So kudos to you.
* Thank you Robin Uttappa for fucking up every time you went out to bat. Next time make sure you get a contract from KKR. You will fit in there perfectly.
* Great performances guys - Hayden, RP, Dilshan, Kumble and the rest of you who did perform well
* Sachin, Saurav, Dravid, Lakshman and the rest of the fuckers who performed pathetically, just look at those kids who are performing man... dont you get a little inspiration from that?
* The vodafone adds were killer this time! Way to go zoo zoo!
* Mandira, Sameer, Arunlal, Akaash Chopra and the gang - you suck!
* Gavaskar, Shastri, Bhogle, Rameez and the gang - you suck too!
* Super over was an amazing intersting change. Super!
* Thank you IPL for making cricket a little more open and making players answerable - no more just mumbaikars like Agarkar and Ranesh Powar who have sucked at the game. The new finds should make it to the team soon - Super played boys - The Ojhas, Nayar, Jadeja, Pandey, Jakathi, Kholi, Raina, Rohit and all
Overall another awesome four weeks. Keep it going. In a couple of years there are going to be two more teams. The speculation is that they are giong to be the Lucknow loafers and the Ahamadabad assholes!
Monday, April 06, 2009
The Fone is the Phucked
It has happened again. Every now and then something happens in my life that makes me realise that this is not for me. Every now and then. It has happened again!
The fone is the phucked!
This is not new to me. It does not even hurt anymore. The wound has become numb. It is the same story every few months. Each time, the “The end” may be different but the story is still the same.
The “The end” this time - My Nokia just died on me and it refused to wake up. Its dead!
Oh ya.. post sales service at E Zone at Sigma mall sucks. Dont go there! (I hear they over price too)
I am glad in a way that its been over 40 hours and I dont have a vibrator in my pocket silently titillating me at the oddest hours and the insanest times of the day. Its like a blessing in disguise if you look at it from one side - The Right side. I have constantly hated cellular phones and lately developed an aversion towards other cell phone using individuals. They should teach cell phone etiquette in school.
In the first place, I have constantly sucked at handling the device, fuck the etiquette. Only I know how much efforts have gone into keeping cell phones in one piece with me hitting walls as I walk.
My first 4 cell phones have been expensive(by my standards) handsets. Spent a good <two digit number> grand for each of them, each state of the art at that particular instant of time(Time is such an illusion I tell you… in just a couple of days your phone is outdated. Bitch!).
But now I have come up with a whole new approach of handling the responsibility of a cell phone and wish to call it - The ULTIMATE guide to manage cell phones for dummies. I have, over time and experience collected enough data to substantiate my claim.
On an average, the life time of a cell phone is 10 months.. at the most. The reasons that the life of a cell phone would seize would be:
1. It just dies on you(Like this time).
2. Falls into water.
3. Falls into the sea.
4. Falls into your beer.
5. Beer falls on it.
6. It falls of your pocket.
7. It gets stolen from your pocket.
8. It gets stolen from your car.
9. It gets stolen from your friend’s house. It is the maid but you have no proof.
10. A bike runs over it.
11. A bus runs over it.
12. You get mugged
13. The screen fails. You give it for repair. The guy doesn’t give it back for 6 months and running…(That basturd!)
14. You throw it against the wall (Because you are super drunk)
15. You throw it against the wall (Because you are super pissed)
So on and so forth.
Reasons, however much trivial (numbers 1,3,5,9, 13 apply to me, some of them more than once), may be numerous, but the result is the same. It is always “The end”
Another important factor to consider are the features on these babies. Most, oh so ludacris!
My most modern phone had a 2 mpix cam and blue tooth, stupid games and an mp3 player. I have sufficient data to support that the average usage of all the features in a phone(except calling and texting) is 1/3669th of the average usage of the phone for texting and calling. So, in eventuality the usage of calls and texting is considerably huge and hence it can be, ignoring the errors in calculations involved, summarized that the main use of the invention called cellular phone is to make calls and texting. (And seriously, these days there is all kinds of shit in the market – i-pods, PSPs, Crazy cameras, personal planners, dildos etc that one can rather use a cell phone for its primary purpose)
In conclusion, I am going to hence forth go for the cheapest handset available in the market and use it only for calling and texting (as little as possible). Cheap handsets come with an added advantage that they can be made to fall around without having to have a needle down the heart every time it does. Its a clear choice of a cheap handsets for shorter durations over state of the art shit.
The ULTIMATE guide to manage cell phones for dummies rule 1 and only:
Buy cheap handsets!
Twitter update: Upgraded from a Nokia 1200 to a Nokia 1202
The fone is the phucked!
This is not new to me. It does not even hurt anymore. The wound has become numb. It is the same story every few months. Each time, the “The end” may be different but the story is still the same.
The “The end” this time - My Nokia just died on me and it refused to wake up. Its dead!
Oh ya.. post sales service at E Zone at Sigma mall sucks. Dont go there! (I hear they over price too)
I am glad in a way that its been over 40 hours and I dont have a vibrator in my pocket silently titillating me at the oddest hours and the insanest times of the day. Its like a blessing in disguise if you look at it from one side - The Right side. I have constantly hated cellular phones and lately developed an aversion towards other cell phone using individuals. They should teach cell phone etiquette in school.
In the first place, I have constantly sucked at handling the device, fuck the etiquette. Only I know how much efforts have gone into keeping cell phones in one piece with me hitting walls as I walk.
My first 4 cell phones have been expensive(by my standards) handsets. Spent a good <two digit number> grand for each of them, each state of the art at that particular instant of time(Time is such an illusion I tell you… in just a couple of days your phone is outdated. Bitch!).
But now I have come up with a whole new approach of handling the responsibility of a cell phone and wish to call it - The ULTIMATE guide to manage cell phones for dummies. I have, over time and experience collected enough data to substantiate my claim.
On an average, the life time of a cell phone is 10 months.. at the most. The reasons that the life of a cell phone would seize would be:
1. It just dies on you(Like this time).
2. Falls into water.
3. Falls into the sea.
4. Falls into your beer.
5. Beer falls on it.
6. It falls of your pocket.
7. It gets stolen from your pocket.
8. It gets stolen from your car.
9. It gets stolen from your friend’s house. It is the maid but you have no proof.
10. A bike runs over it.
11. A bus runs over it.
12. You get mugged
13. The screen fails. You give it for repair. The guy doesn’t give it back for 6 months and running…(That basturd!)
14. You throw it against the wall (Because you are super drunk)
15. You throw it against the wall (Because you are super pissed)
So on and so forth.
Reasons, however much trivial (numbers 1,3,5,9, 13 apply to me, some of them more than once), may be numerous, but the result is the same. It is always “The end”
Another important factor to consider are the features on these babies. Most, oh so ludacris!
My most modern phone had a 2 mpix cam and blue tooth, stupid games and an mp3 player. I have sufficient data to support that the average usage of all the features in a phone(except calling and texting) is 1/3669th of the average usage of the phone for texting and calling. So, in eventuality the usage of calls and texting is considerably huge and hence it can be, ignoring the errors in calculations involved, summarized that the main use of the invention called cellular phone is to make calls and texting. (And seriously, these days there is all kinds of shit in the market – i-pods, PSPs, Crazy cameras, personal planners, dildos etc that one can rather use a cell phone for its primary purpose)
In conclusion, I am going to hence forth go for the cheapest handset available in the market and use it only for calling and texting (as little as possible). Cheap handsets come with an added advantage that they can be made to fall around without having to have a needle down the heart every time it does. Its a clear choice of a cheap handsets for shorter durations over state of the art shit.
The ULTIMATE guide to manage cell phones for dummies rule 1 and only:
Buy cheap handsets!
Twitter update: Upgraded from a Nokia 1200 to a Nokia 1202
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Happy Woman's day
The last couple of days has been pleasantly peaceful - the weather that is. After successive long hot sunny sweaty days, it has been exceptionally cloudy and drizzling, exceptional for the month of the year it is. I am guessing its cooler now that women’s day is done and gone. I guess everything is cool if the women folk of the world are cool. :)
Happy Women's day girls. I hope you have had a blast!
Talking of women, and women having a day and all to celebrate and all that jazz, I would like to take this opportunity to narrate an incident that happened in my life recently. I happened to take a bus a couple of days ago to get to work. Having heard stories about busses in Bangalore and the crowd involved, I was fully prepared, with knee and elbow braces and all. But surprisingly, the bus I got into (which would take me from Baneerghatta road to St.Patriks church on brigade road, was very empty and for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel claustrophobic in the Bangalore traffic.
So as I sat in one of the many empty seats and bought my ticket, a lady hopped into the bus. I have very limited knowledge about the "how to travel in a BMTC bus effectively without being pick picketed or molested" but then what followed next was something I could not concur with.
To explain the scene, let me give you details about the setting. Like I said, the bus was almost empty, in the sense that there were around 10 people in it, most of them had taken all the window seats available on the left side (non sunny side). Man 1 was sitting in one of the front left window seats (marked "ladies"). Man 2 was sitting with his friend on the right side. I was sitting behind all this on one of the back aisle seats from where I could get a clear view of the scene that followed. Woman enters the bus. She looks here and there and approaches Man 1.
Woman: Could you get off the seat?
Man 1: (taking off his earphones) sorry?
Woman: Get off that seat. I want to sit there.
Man 1: There are so many vacant seats. Sit in any of them.
Woman: No this seat is marked ladies. Could you please get off the seat?
Man 1: Come on, so many seats are empty. Sit somewhere else please.
Woman: Get off!
Man 1 ignores her and puts his ear phones back on.
Woman: (At conductor with a "what the fuck" look) Excuse me
Conductor: Sit somewhere else madam. The whole bus is empty.
Woman: (Ignoring the conductor, gets back to her man, trying to jab him on his shoulder to attract his attention from his ear phones)
Man 2: interrupts: Excuse me madam, why are you doing this? There are so many seats. It doesn’t make sense to wake him up. Sit somewhere else
Woman: What do you mean? You guys don’t respect women at all
Man 2: Respect? Excuse me! What respect are you talking about? It requires common sense to find yourself a seat in an almost empty bus.
Woman: Common sense? I want to sit there. That is a ladies seat.
Man 2: (pointing at another empty seat, on the right side) That is a woman's seat too. Sit there.
Woman: NO! I want to sit here only. And who are you to talk to me like this? I am not even talking to you. Mind your business
Man 2: Do what you want! (sigh! s and swears to himself. I distinctly heard him say Bitch. But he wasn’t talking to her anyway ;) right?)
Man 1 (cant take it anymore and gets into action)
Man 1: Why do you want to sit in this seat only?
Woman: There is shade there. I want to sit there only. And it’s a ladies seat. So get up.
Man 1: If you want shade, you should take an auto. You can’t come to a public bus and behave like a child.
Woman: What child? Driver stop the bus! Take me to the police.
(By now, everyone in the bus including me has stopped giving attention to the bitch. The driver moved on and the conductor went behind in the pretext of selling his tickets. The woman's ears have turned red. She is about to blow up. I could not wait for the action to begin. Unfortunately that’s my stop. I get off the bus and walk off, trying to kick start my day)
Now, clearly anyone with a sound mind on that bus would believe that the woman was a bitch! Swear it. I respect women a lot to abuse them, but this one was a total bitch.
But why am I abusing a woman on a blog which is titled "Happy woman's day"? I somehow feel that this whole women's rights and women are equal to men is over played. Way too over played. And I personally believe the women of today have taken full advantage of these two levels, women's rights and the school of thought of women being equal to men. That is, when the situation is better for them to be the weaker sex, they are but when it comes to certain other things, they want to be treated equal. This makes survival of the men folk much more complex that it already was. If handling a normal woman wasn’t tough enough!
Think about it. If you are going in a car and the car has a flat, YOU have fix it cos touching the tyre would dirty her hand. Or if the attic has to be cleaned, its you who have to climb up and get all the shit on your face. But when it comes to things like say, going to a pub, or for that matter cooking in the kitchen, the modern young women take a different stance. Women are no less than men these days. These days women work and earn as much as men and hence need equal rights and equal priviledges. Its not that I am against women going to a pub. Its just that if woman goes to a pub only to prove to the men that even she can be like him, that’s where she becomes a looser.
If its equal privileges you require, why in the name of the devil do you have to pick up the phone and call the man in your life (father, husband, boyfriend, brother, best friend, rakhi brother, random guy from orkut etc) when your radiator blows up? Equal privileges is all you want right? Get it fixed. Fix it yourself. Hitch a ride. Do something instead of the call?
It’s not just about the car where double standards are maintained. Over all, this world is living on the double standards of the modern women. This is what education does I feel! Ruineth you!
I think its very simple. Women, with just the gift of giving birth to another human should make them much higher than men. Why don’t you look at it that way? Why do you want to come down to our level? We are all bastards in one way or the other right? Why do you want to be EQUAL to us?
It’s time we accept that we are different species and take it from there.
Happy womens day either ways!
Cheers
Happy Women's day girls. I hope you have had a blast!
Talking of women, and women having a day and all to celebrate and all that jazz, I would like to take this opportunity to narrate an incident that happened in my life recently. I happened to take a bus a couple of days ago to get to work. Having heard stories about busses in Bangalore and the crowd involved, I was fully prepared, with knee and elbow braces and all. But surprisingly, the bus I got into (which would take me from Baneerghatta road to St.Patriks church on brigade road, was very empty and for the first time in my life, I didn’t feel claustrophobic in the Bangalore traffic.
So as I sat in one of the many empty seats and bought my ticket, a lady hopped into the bus. I have very limited knowledge about the "how to travel in a BMTC bus effectively without being pick picketed or molested" but then what followed next was something I could not concur with.
To explain the scene, let me give you details about the setting. Like I said, the bus was almost empty, in the sense that there were around 10 people in it, most of them had taken all the window seats available on the left side (non sunny side). Man 1 was sitting in one of the front left window seats (marked "ladies"). Man 2 was sitting with his friend on the right side. I was sitting behind all this on one of the back aisle seats from where I could get a clear view of the scene that followed. Woman enters the bus. She looks here and there and approaches Man 1.
Woman: Could you get off the seat?
Man 1: (taking off his earphones) sorry?
Woman: Get off that seat. I want to sit there.
Man 1: There are so many vacant seats. Sit in any of them.
Woman: No this seat is marked ladies. Could you please get off the seat?
Man 1: Come on, so many seats are empty. Sit somewhere else please.
Woman: Get off!
Man 1 ignores her and puts his ear phones back on.
Woman: (At conductor with a "what the fuck" look) Excuse me
Conductor: Sit somewhere else madam. The whole bus is empty.
Woman: (Ignoring the conductor, gets back to her man, trying to jab him on his shoulder to attract his attention from his ear phones)
Man 2: interrupts: Excuse me madam, why are you doing this? There are so many seats. It doesn’t make sense to wake him up. Sit somewhere else
Woman: What do you mean? You guys don’t respect women at all
Man 2: Respect? Excuse me! What respect are you talking about? It requires common sense to find yourself a seat in an almost empty bus.
Woman: Common sense? I want to sit there. That is a ladies seat.
Man 2: (pointing at another empty seat, on the right side) That is a woman's seat too. Sit there.
Woman: NO! I want to sit here only. And who are you to talk to me like this? I am not even talking to you. Mind your business
Man 2: Do what you want! (sigh! s and swears to himself. I distinctly heard him say Bitch. But he wasn’t talking to her anyway ;) right?)
Man 1 (cant take it anymore and gets into action)
Man 1: Why do you want to sit in this seat only?
Woman: There is shade there. I want to sit there only. And it’s a ladies seat. So get up.
Man 1: If you want shade, you should take an auto. You can’t come to a public bus and behave like a child.
Woman: What child? Driver stop the bus! Take me to the police.
(By now, everyone in the bus including me has stopped giving attention to the bitch. The driver moved on and the conductor went behind in the pretext of selling his tickets. The woman's ears have turned red. She is about to blow up. I could not wait for the action to begin. Unfortunately that’s my stop. I get off the bus and walk off, trying to kick start my day)
Now, clearly anyone with a sound mind on that bus would believe that the woman was a bitch! Swear it. I respect women a lot to abuse them, but this one was a total bitch.
But why am I abusing a woman on a blog which is titled "Happy woman's day"? I somehow feel that this whole women's rights and women are equal to men is over played. Way too over played. And I personally believe the women of today have taken full advantage of these two levels, women's rights and the school of thought of women being equal to men. That is, when the situation is better for them to be the weaker sex, they are but when it comes to certain other things, they want to be treated equal. This makes survival of the men folk much more complex that it already was. If handling a normal woman wasn’t tough enough!
Think about it. If you are going in a car and the car has a flat, YOU have fix it cos touching the tyre would dirty her hand. Or if the attic has to be cleaned, its you who have to climb up and get all the shit on your face. But when it comes to things like say, going to a pub, or for that matter cooking in the kitchen, the modern young women take a different stance. Women are no less than men these days. These days women work and earn as much as men and hence need equal rights and equal priviledges. Its not that I am against women going to a pub. Its just that if woman goes to a pub only to prove to the men that even she can be like him, that’s where she becomes a looser.
If its equal privileges you require, why in the name of the devil do you have to pick up the phone and call the man in your life (father, husband, boyfriend, brother, best friend, rakhi brother, random guy from orkut etc) when your radiator blows up? Equal privileges is all you want right? Get it fixed. Fix it yourself. Hitch a ride. Do something instead of the call?
It’s not just about the car where double standards are maintained. Over all, this world is living on the double standards of the modern women. This is what education does I feel! Ruineth you!
I think its very simple. Women, with just the gift of giving birth to another human should make them much higher than men. Why don’t you look at it that way? Why do you want to come down to our level? We are all bastards in one way or the other right? Why do you want to be EQUAL to us?
It’s time we accept that we are different species and take it from there.
Happy womens day either ways!
Cheers
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Cyber love
as i wander in cyberspace, not knowing what to do or where to go, lost in the many fantasies it has to offer, i look for you, here, there, and not finding you in sight here makes me feel void, this world without you is empty...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
What the Beep*
The other day, 18th of Feb it was I think, I woke up later than I usually do and didn’t feel like going to work. Although this is a common feeling I face every morning, that day it was a little different. I just wanted to be at HOME. Pamper myself. Relax. Dream. Sleep. Just lie down for hours and feel 0% productive and be happy about it. That is a great thing to do on week days. Aahhh! I wish there were more weekends!
Anyway, this Feb. 18th, I could not just relax and do all that shit. I had to go to work, late was o k, but bunking till EOD was not a choice I had. So I decided I might as well go get the insurance for my bike done. That way, I could go to work late and still get some other work done in the process. Get the insurance for my bike, which was due a month and a half ago. Better late than never my teacher used to say.
I had heard of this MONSTER called the "Silk board fly over" junction. I have crossed this bad boy a few times before, all on weekends, mostly at odd times of the day(read night) and it has always almost been a cake walk. Mostly. But this Feb. 18th was the first time I saw him in complete rage. I touched Ring road at the famous Udapi garden junction. I had got the green light at that signal and I landed on ring road. After that, it took close to 50 mins for me to reach silk board flyover. All those 50 mins, my bike was revving and in first gear, moving bumper to bumper, leg to leg, very very slow, and not really steady.
Mental note: Bangalore has become awfully sunny these days! Don’t wear black T shirts
Just as I turned left onto Hosur road, a cop stopped me. “Routine check” I was told. I can’t believe it that right behind me was one of the biggest traffic jams my tender brain ever navigated and this dude here wants to routine check my bike. I am a man of simple wants, but the least I expect from society is some common sense. The whole concept of Policing is put to fire these days. I asked him as to why he was more concerned about my papers instead of minding the traffic. He dismissed my query by spitting the pan in his mouth and said "license". I promptly produced my license and the lapsed insurance, telling him in the process, that my insurance had lapsed and I was on the way to get it renewed. The beep* would not care. He wanted me to pay the fine because at that instant, my bike was running without a valid insurance.
India is like Matrix – The movie! Some rules can be bent, some can be broken. That’s why I love India. 20 bucks and a little theatrics in the lokal language is all it took for me to get out of this freak. It works cheap if the cheap constables are in charge. But I still don’t get the idea of an insurance bring mandatory. It’s my beep*in bike. I have the money to get it fixed when it gets beep*ed. So I dont beep*in need insurance. Why should I get it then? Well, some questions are never supposed to be asked. You are supposed to oblige. Life!
The insurance office was another mad house. It was 1130 on a Wednesday - the peak if we were to plot the hours of the week onto a bell curve. And when I go there, there is a herd of people wanting to get insurances done and all waiting. No queue et all.. just waiting here and there. I go and ask this really dark big lady in a bright red sari and loud gold ornaments sitting like a pig, who looked like the boss around there. She says that this guy who is supposed to click photos of our vehicles is out to get his camera fixed. I mean, what kind of a firm will work if at the peak time of the week, you have your man fixing his tools? Seriously, what the beep*!!
Relax!! Breath innnnn…. Breath outtttt…..
The good news is that I have to wait till the next Feb 18th [:)] to get my insurance renewed. I can’t wait for the next Feb. 18th, even though I am sure I will delay getting the damn thing done!
Anyway, this Feb. 18th, I could not just relax and do all that shit. I had to go to work, late was o k, but bunking till EOD was not a choice I had. So I decided I might as well go get the insurance for my bike done. That way, I could go to work late and still get some other work done in the process. Get the insurance for my bike, which was due a month and a half ago. Better late than never my teacher used to say.
I had heard of this MONSTER called the "Silk board fly over" junction. I have crossed this bad boy a few times before, all on weekends, mostly at odd times of the day(read night) and it has always almost been a cake walk. Mostly. But this Feb. 18th was the first time I saw him in complete rage. I touched Ring road at the famous Udapi garden junction. I had got the green light at that signal and I landed on ring road. After that, it took close to 50 mins for me to reach silk board flyover. All those 50 mins, my bike was revving and in first gear, moving bumper to bumper, leg to leg, very very slow, and not really steady.
Mental note: Bangalore has become awfully sunny these days! Don’t wear black T shirts
Just as I turned left onto Hosur road, a cop stopped me. “Routine check” I was told. I can’t believe it that right behind me was one of the biggest traffic jams my tender brain ever navigated and this dude here wants to routine check my bike. I am a man of simple wants, but the least I expect from society is some common sense. The whole concept of Policing is put to fire these days. I asked him as to why he was more concerned about my papers instead of minding the traffic. He dismissed my query by spitting the pan in his mouth and said "license". I promptly produced my license and the lapsed insurance, telling him in the process, that my insurance had lapsed and I was on the way to get it renewed. The beep* would not care. He wanted me to pay the fine because at that instant, my bike was running without a valid insurance.
India is like Matrix – The movie! Some rules can be bent, some can be broken. That’s why I love India. 20 bucks and a little theatrics in the lokal language is all it took for me to get out of this freak. It works cheap if the cheap constables are in charge. But I still don’t get the idea of an insurance bring mandatory. It’s my beep*in bike. I have the money to get it fixed when it gets beep*ed. So I dont beep*in need insurance. Why should I get it then? Well, some questions are never supposed to be asked. You are supposed to oblige. Life!
The insurance office was another mad house. It was 1130 on a Wednesday - the peak if we were to plot the hours of the week onto a bell curve. And when I go there, there is a herd of people wanting to get insurances done and all waiting. No queue et all.. just waiting here and there. I go and ask this really dark big lady in a bright red sari and loud gold ornaments sitting like a pig, who looked like the boss around there. She says that this guy who is supposed to click photos of our vehicles is out to get his camera fixed. I mean, what kind of a firm will work if at the peak time of the week, you have your man fixing his tools? Seriously, what the beep*!!
Relax!! Breath innnnn…. Breath outtttt…..
The good news is that I have to wait till the next Feb 18th [:)] to get my insurance renewed. I can’t wait for the next Feb. 18th, even though I am sure I will delay getting the damn thing done!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Pinky is good too
The main page in this cheap news paper I get had a rhyming headline which said "Sallu cries as MYSON dies". These days, they try to cipher the headlines so much, especially the cheap papers, that one is left with little choice but to go thru the main news to decipher it. This particular column was about a dog called "myson", a male 14 year old dog owned by Salman Khan. He incidentally has another female dog, who he calls "myjaan". The news paper went on to tell how much in love Sallu bhai is with his dogs and how he talks to them on the phone when he is away on shoots. But what interested me were the names of the dogs.
"Myjaan" and "Myson", myjaan in particular made me say the name in my mind over and over again and have loud laugh over the sensation . But that’s the best part about naming pets. You can name them whatever you want. Sidey or not, Funny or not, Stupid or not, Crazy or not... They will still respond to the name given.
There are some funny pet names that I have come across in my short life. The most common names for dogs are names like "Ramu", "Raju" etc which usually are names of dogs or elephants in Hindi movies. I haven’t seen a real dog called Ramu. I would never call a real dog “Ramu”. Please!! (Making a weird face with a long “nasal tinge” filled please, like how Polumi – Roadies 6.0 claim would say it) That would be so crazy. To call a dog by a name you would normally associate with a person. Another common trait that people catch up for naming their pets is using their color for a name. "Blacky", "Goldie", "Belli", “Dark Knight”, “Shadow”, “Reddy” [ ;) ] are names that I have usually come across.
Then there are these really funny pets I have seen with names which SHOULD not be given to pets, especially dogs. There is a basic disconnect between the name and the animal. I had one neighbor who had a Pomeranian called "Killer" or “Tiger”. I mean what kind of a killer would be a Pomeranian? It probably kills the mosquitoes in the radius with its high frequency noise but Killer is NOT a name for that bitch. I have also found it funny that about a few years ago, every girl I knew who had a dog named it "Sonu" after Sonu Nigam. Am sure they all love the singer, all lust him may be.. but naming their dog after him... Crap! Girls I always fail to understand!
I guess the name of the dog makes it what it really is. I had a dog too which was called Whisky. It was a golden retriever which was much darker than most golden retrievers I have seen. Whisky was an appropriate name for Whisky. He was a basturd though... was a rowdy in his own rights and had taken control of the whole house hold while he was around. "Basturd" is another name I like. "Come here basturd", "Fetch Basturd!" are such an appropriate way to talk to your dog. I also have a friend who has a pet cat called "Cup of Tea" which I find very very cute. "Ray" was another lab I knew who was pitch black and awesome looking.
When I do have dogs, two male labs are what I have in my dreams(if i can fight my paranoia about dogs that is)... I want to call them Macho and Benjo (After characters with the same name of MTV, who incidentally got their names from Madher Chod and Behen Chod). Nutz and Boltz too are names I am willing to consider but only if I have on male and one female dog. You cannot possibly which has a Nut on the male toilet door and a bolt on the female toilet door. Whatever be their names insha allah!, I’d rather not have a dog than to have one who is called "Myjaan"
"Myjaan" and "Myson", myjaan in particular made me say the name in my mind over and over again and have loud laugh over the sensation . But that’s the best part about naming pets. You can name them whatever you want. Sidey or not, Funny or not, Stupid or not, Crazy or not... They will still respond to the name given.
There are some funny pet names that I have come across in my short life. The most common names for dogs are names like "Ramu", "Raju" etc which usually are names of dogs or elephants in Hindi movies. I haven’t seen a real dog called Ramu. I would never call a real dog “Ramu”. Please!! (Making a weird face with a long “nasal tinge” filled please, like how Polumi – Roadies 6.0 claim would say it) That would be so crazy. To call a dog by a name you would normally associate with a person. Another common trait that people catch up for naming their pets is using their color for a name. "Blacky", "Goldie", "Belli", “Dark Knight”, “Shadow”, “Reddy” [ ;) ] are names that I have usually come across.
Then there are these really funny pets I have seen with names which SHOULD not be given to pets, especially dogs. There is a basic disconnect between the name and the animal. I had one neighbor who had a Pomeranian called "Killer" or “Tiger”. I mean what kind of a killer would be a Pomeranian? It probably kills the mosquitoes in the radius with its high frequency noise but Killer is NOT a name for that bitch. I have also found it funny that about a few years ago, every girl I knew who had a dog named it "Sonu" after Sonu Nigam. Am sure they all love the singer, all lust him may be.. but naming their dog after him... Crap! Girls I always fail to understand!
I guess the name of the dog makes it what it really is. I had a dog too which was called Whisky. It was a golden retriever which was much darker than most golden retrievers I have seen. Whisky was an appropriate name for Whisky. He was a basturd though... was a rowdy in his own rights and had taken control of the whole house hold while he was around. "Basturd" is another name I like. "Come here basturd", "Fetch Basturd!" are such an appropriate way to talk to your dog. I also have a friend who has a pet cat called "Cup of Tea" which I find very very cute. "Ray" was another lab I knew who was pitch black and awesome looking.
When I do have dogs, two male labs are what I have in my dreams(if i can fight my paranoia about dogs that is)... I want to call them Macho and Benjo (After characters with the same name of MTV, who incidentally got their names from Madher Chod and Behen Chod). Nutz and Boltz too are names I am willing to consider but only if I have on male and one female dog. You cannot possibly which has a Nut on the male toilet door and a bolt on the female toilet door. Whatever be their names insha allah!, I’d rather not have a dog than to have one who is called "Myjaan"
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Shankranthi 2009
Its festival time again and yet again I found myself banging on the doors of Halli Mane.
I have always loved festivals. I am not a very religious person and all but I have always loved festivals. Too many aspects to festivals them interesting but I am most intrigued by the feast most festivals have to offer. Since I am still in the phase of my life enjoying my bachelorhood, I usually find myself enjoying my fest at Halli Mane.
Halli Mane is a concept restaurant which serves mostly Karnataka rural food. Situated on one of the cross roads on one of Mallehshwaram's busiest roads, this restaurant has to its credit providing healthy and hygienic food to the people of Bangalore. Halli Mane organizes feasts on chosen Hindu festivals at regular intervals. This Shankranthi was one such occasion. I had my festival feast(suggi) here. And what a feast it was!
Me and Me-non reached the destination, ready for the lunch at about 1. Since both of us were working on that day, we were both in office clothes and very out of place. Every time I have gone there for my festival meal I have had an awesome experience. This time was no different. Well different a little in terms of the menu, but awesome none the less. Its like at home, like you have just finished the pooja, asking god for all the useless things in the world and you sit for a meal. There are flowers everywhere, the whole place is decorated, and the smell of the food is so very inviting. Everyone is dressed for the occasion and there are people handing over the prasadam and juice and the ladies are dressed in saris and adorn flowers and they all look so pretty. The "service" part of the experience is tip-top. Clean men with clean clothes with clean vessels with very nice looking food come and serve a feast so good, one must experience to understand.
This time, I had to pull some strings and get a back door entry cos there were close to a 1000 people waiting in line and I HAD to get back to work. We got thro the back door into the kitchen, which spans two floors just like the rest of the restaurant. We walked thro the huge cookers and huge vessels with boiling oil or steam something, on to a metal stair case and thro a door into the first floor of the main restaurant. The entry in itself was rather filmy and the food that followed, followed suit. A delicious "close to 5" course meal was laid out in front of us on a big plantain leaf. I would not like to get into the details of the menu but I promise ill pass on all the information of Halli mane to anyone who drops in a personal request. Like I said, I can pull some strings there ;)
Like in every fairy tale there is a villan, an ugly old witch or mean wolf, this habbada oota too had its villans in my fairly tale lunch.
I cant seem to get a hang of how parents can take the shit the kids do. Seriously. Kids are the future of our country... they have to be brought up well. I seriously could not understand how the fat mother of the fat kid sitting next to me could enjoy her meal without being affected this moneky of a son. He bloody would not shut his mouth. I mean, talk talk talk all the time. Not just talk, stand up, spill water, cry, make the guy serve him the kheer 4 times and make a painting out of it on the leaf, touch my leaf, touch me, kick me, stamp my shoes and all the crazy shit spoilt brats do. Seriously parents, please do something about the kids parents... you don’t want them to end up like me one day. Believe me!
Oh ya! Happy Shankranthi 2009!
I have always loved festivals. I am not a very religious person and all but I have always loved festivals. Too many aspects to festivals them interesting but I am most intrigued by the feast most festivals have to offer. Since I am still in the phase of my life enjoying my bachelorhood, I usually find myself enjoying my fest at Halli Mane.
Halli Mane is a concept restaurant which serves mostly Karnataka rural food. Situated on one of the cross roads on one of Mallehshwaram's busiest roads, this restaurant has to its credit providing healthy and hygienic food to the people of Bangalore. Halli Mane organizes feasts on chosen Hindu festivals at regular intervals. This Shankranthi was one such occasion. I had my festival feast(suggi) here. And what a feast it was!
Me and Me-non reached the destination, ready for the lunch at about 1. Since both of us were working on that day, we were both in office clothes and very out of place. Every time I have gone there for my festival meal I have had an awesome experience. This time was no different. Well different a little in terms of the menu, but awesome none the less. Its like at home, like you have just finished the pooja, asking god for all the useless things in the world and you sit for a meal. There are flowers everywhere, the whole place is decorated, and the smell of the food is so very inviting. Everyone is dressed for the occasion and there are people handing over the prasadam and juice and the ladies are dressed in saris and adorn flowers and they all look so pretty. The "service" part of the experience is tip-top. Clean men with clean clothes with clean vessels with very nice looking food come and serve a feast so good, one must experience to understand.
This time, I had to pull some strings and get a back door entry cos there were close to a 1000 people waiting in line and I HAD to get back to work. We got thro the back door into the kitchen, which spans two floors just like the rest of the restaurant. We walked thro the huge cookers and huge vessels with boiling oil or steam something, on to a metal stair case and thro a door into the first floor of the main restaurant. The entry in itself was rather filmy and the food that followed, followed suit. A delicious "close to 5" course meal was laid out in front of us on a big plantain leaf. I would not like to get into the details of the menu but I promise ill pass on all the information of Halli mane to anyone who drops in a personal request. Like I said, I can pull some strings there ;)
Like in every fairy tale there is a villan, an ugly old witch or mean wolf, this habbada oota too had its villans in my fairly tale lunch.
I cant seem to get a hang of how parents can take the shit the kids do. Seriously. Kids are the future of our country... they have to be brought up well. I seriously could not understand how the fat mother of the fat kid sitting next to me could enjoy her meal without being affected this moneky of a son. He bloody would not shut his mouth. I mean, talk talk talk all the time. Not just talk, stand up, spill water, cry, make the guy serve him the kheer 4 times and make a painting out of it on the leaf, touch my leaf, touch me, kick me, stamp my shoes and all the crazy shit spoilt brats do. Seriously parents, please do something about the kids parents... you don’t want them to end up like me one day. Believe me!
Oh ya! Happy Shankranthi 2009!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Happy New Year
8th day of the year is not too late to post a post about new years. But it aint all that early either. Either ways no apologies :)
Happy New Year 2009 came and went by without causing too much change in my life. Except that hence forth, I have to give my writing a second glance when I am hand writing dates. One gets so used to writing [something]/[something]/08 on every place I have to make a date entry that hence forth, at least for the first couple of months I have to be observant as to what my hand writes subconsciously ( on that note, now I wonder if I have written the correct year in the date I have dropped for the Credit card :|)
Talking of sub conscience, I believe I have been blessed with a sub conscience which, in comparison with a lot of people I know, is better than their living selves. Why do I say this? I have no clue... So coming back from the tangent, the "Happy New Year" of 2009 had me driving to a coffee estate close to Chikkamangalore and party.
A gang of 5 (2 Indians, two NRIs and I) left my work place (I don’t work with any of the other 4 but we happened to leave from my work place because it’s my car ;) ... so much for modesty) at around lunch time. The drive was excellent, with a couple of stops for
1. Fuel for the car
2. Fuel for us
3. Fuel for the night!
We landed in the coffee estate (the name I am trying to recall, but dont seem to do so) by around 9 and got into our cozy rooms. We were given a house on the first floor of a house built in the middle of this estate. Very comfortable rooms with clean bathrooms, which for me is high priority - clean bath rooms; so that I can fuck it up by the time I check out. Once we had changed and stuff (oh my god, my friends are such girls I tell you... they take ages to fuckin take off their trousers and get into tracks... I can never accept a MAN taking ages to get ready... that too to go get drunk... that too in the night... and that too when there are just 5 of us who have known each other for a decade almost and who just spent 8 hours in a car together) we got to eat amazing food. The idea was to eat little so that we could drink a lot and then grab the dinner, but then the food was so good that we all ate our stomachs full. I faintly remember one of us saying "chuck the party, lets hit the sack" but I also remember, that thought was comfortably trashed and the who’s ever thought it was got completely smashed (wow that rhymes also).
We gathered around a badly burning bon fire at around 11. Everything was set. There was the left over food from our dinner (which was hardly anything, everything was in our stomachs) and there was lots and lots of chips and of course we had booze from the duty free shop of Frankfurt (I guess) and music (off the collection of DJ [someone] who happens to be a friend of one of us) being played in the background and cool (in fact cold) wind blowing and all that jazz.
I vaguely remember hugging all my friends at midnight and I also vaguely remember one of us making conversations with god. Rest is history. Happy New Year 2009!!
Happy New Year 2009 came and went by without causing too much change in my life. Except that hence forth, I have to give my writing a second glance when I am hand writing dates. One gets so used to writing [something]/[something]/08 on every place I have to make a date entry that hence forth, at least for the first couple of months I have to be observant as to what my hand writes subconsciously ( on that note, now I wonder if I have written the correct year in the date I have dropped for the Credit card :|)
Talking of sub conscience, I believe I have been blessed with a sub conscience which, in comparison with a lot of people I know, is better than their living selves. Why do I say this? I have no clue... So coming back from the tangent, the "Happy New Year" of 2009 had me driving to a coffee estate close to Chikkamangalore and party.
A gang of 5 (2 Indians, two NRIs and I) left my work place (I don’t work with any of the other 4 but we happened to leave from my work place because it’s my car ;) ... so much for modesty) at around lunch time. The drive was excellent, with a couple of stops for
1. Fuel for the car
2. Fuel for us
3. Fuel for the night!
We landed in the coffee estate (the name I am trying to recall, but dont seem to do so) by around 9 and got into our cozy rooms. We were given a house on the first floor of a house built in the middle of this estate. Very comfortable rooms with clean bathrooms, which for me is high priority - clean bath rooms; so that I can fuck it up by the time I check out. Once we had changed and stuff (oh my god, my friends are such girls I tell you... they take ages to fuckin take off their trousers and get into tracks... I can never accept a MAN taking ages to get ready... that too to go get drunk... that too in the night... and that too when there are just 5 of us who have known each other for a decade almost and who just spent 8 hours in a car together) we got to eat amazing food. The idea was to eat little so that we could drink a lot and then grab the dinner, but then the food was so good that we all ate our stomachs full. I faintly remember one of us saying "chuck the party, lets hit the sack" but I also remember, that thought was comfortably trashed and the who’s ever thought it was got completely smashed (wow that rhymes also).
We gathered around a badly burning bon fire at around 11. Everything was set. There was the left over food from our dinner (which was hardly anything, everything was in our stomachs) and there was lots and lots of chips and of course we had booze from the duty free shop of Frankfurt (I guess) and music (off the collection of DJ [someone] who happens to be a friend of one of us) being played in the background and cool (in fact cold) wind blowing and all that jazz.
I vaguely remember hugging all my friends at midnight and I also vaguely remember one of us making conversations with god. Rest is history. Happy New Year 2009!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
as 2009 trips by...
It is the 31st of December 2008 and the best I can do now, on this Wednesday morning, is take a look back on the year that was. Its been a remarkable year for the world and India alike with lots of important things happening this year. Its been a remarkable year for me too, with lots of important things happening in my life too.
2008 has been a year of trips for me. If I look back at this year, I realize that of the 365 days, at least 50 days I have not been at home, been out on trips and this excludes the days I spend at home in Mysore.
The year started off with the new year party that concluded in Coorg. A group of 9 guys(from college) in one car and two bikes headed towards Coorg from Bangalore. We camped in a very nice "home stay" kind of arrangement near Irrpu falls the New Year extravaganza happened just outside where we stayed with a bon fire and music being played off my car.
The next major trip was towards Goa with almost the same gang(well almost because this was a gang that consisted of my engineering classmates and not random guys from college). Another group of men set out towards Goa in a Qualis. As far as I can remember, we were about 9 guys, all cramped into one car as we headed towards Goa. One hell of a party the trip that was.
Another trip of importance before the rains hit India was a trip to Ooty. This trip had 4 of us head (3 of us lokal boys and another NRI) towards Ooty to meet another friend who runs a business there. It was a week end trip but one of extreme enjoyment because it involved night travel in the Ghats and a drive in a Honda Civic and royal hospitality at that friends hotel.
In the mean while, I had completed the few regular trips home, a couple of trips to Tumkur to meet Dr. Tango(Reason), trips to Mekedat and Muttatti falls with friends and colleagues alike.
In the August of 2008, when I usually celebrate my birthday, I was on another trip to Goa. This was one trip with extreme highlights. First, this was the first trip that I was involved in which had women in it. I have always been of the school of thought that women on trips are a major responsibility and the fun level and enjoyment level is dampened by the responsibility that accompanies. However, after this trip I am still under consideration of my promotions. Second, trip also had me drinking just a couple of beers on the whole 4 days(and not one bit of booze on my 26th), which for me is an achievement in itself because I again come from a school of thought which says that drinking is best enjoyed on trips when tomorrow is never a concern. This trip certainly is one of the best trips I have ever had in my life for reasons more than one.
I followed up this trip with another trip, this time to the beaches of Karnataka with a gang of 10 people. This was another lot of fun trip as we saw breathtaking beaches on the west coast of India. Gokarna, which has always been a place that I have dreaded and almost have respect out of fear for was so good on this trip that we ended up spending about half of our time here.
Next major trip I had was pretty major even by my standards. Me and "the tall mallu" took a week off from work and we headed on a road trip with destination unknown. 9 days with most social contact with just one other person is a complex situation. Trips sometimes can be more frustrating than usual times because there will be times when one will have to do something which he/she dislikes doing because the others will be interested in doing something. So the "frequency" match is very vital on trips. And this trip, like few others with this "tall mallu" was another wonderful experience with treks, train rides, bus rides, auto rides, lorry rides, truck rides, trips to the police station, sleep in the railway station and cheap and sidey lodges, a visit to all the major pubs in vizag and beaches in which there was not a human soul in the two kilometer radius. Another highlight to this trip was that we didn’t carry a camera on purpose (well actually, I dislike the concept of cameras on trips and the tall mallu would have carried one if he had one) and hence I have no proof of being on this trip. :)
I have also gone on a couple of trips to friends’ weddings. One trip to Bellary and another recently to Davengere to attend Homo’s wedding. On both the trips, “Mysore Baba” was present and hence the highlight of both the trips.
In a couple of hours, I am heading towards Chikkamangalore with another set of friends to welcome 2009.
Purse - Check
Watch - Check
Cell phone - Check
Car Keys - Check
Jacket - Check
Charger - oh fuck!
All Set, preparing launch sequence.
Get...
Set...
Go...
2008 has been a year of trips for me. If I look back at this year, I realize that of the 365 days, at least 50 days I have not been at home, been out on trips and this excludes the days I spend at home in Mysore.
The year started off with the new year party that concluded in Coorg. A group of 9 guys(from college) in one car and two bikes headed towards Coorg from Bangalore. We camped in a very nice "home stay" kind of arrangement near Irrpu falls the New Year extravaganza happened just outside where we stayed with a bon fire and music being played off my car.
The next major trip was towards Goa with almost the same gang(well almost because this was a gang that consisted of my engineering classmates and not random guys from college). Another group of men set out towards Goa in a Qualis. As far as I can remember, we were about 9 guys, all cramped into one car as we headed towards Goa. One hell of a party the trip that was.
Another trip of importance before the rains hit India was a trip to Ooty. This trip had 4 of us head (3 of us lokal boys and another NRI) towards Ooty to meet another friend who runs a business there. It was a week end trip but one of extreme enjoyment because it involved night travel in the Ghats and a drive in a Honda Civic and royal hospitality at that friends hotel.
In the mean while, I had completed the few regular trips home, a couple of trips to Tumkur to meet Dr. Tango(Reason), trips to Mekedat and Muttatti falls with friends and colleagues alike.
In the August of 2008, when I usually celebrate my birthday, I was on another trip to Goa. This was one trip with extreme highlights. First, this was the first trip that I was involved in which had women in it. I have always been of the school of thought that women on trips are a major responsibility and the fun level and enjoyment level is dampened by the responsibility that accompanies. However, after this trip I am still under consideration of my promotions. Second, trip also had me drinking just a couple of beers on the whole 4 days(and not one bit of booze on my 26th), which for me is an achievement in itself because I again come from a school of thought which says that drinking is best enjoyed on trips when tomorrow is never a concern. This trip certainly is one of the best trips I have ever had in my life for reasons more than one.
I followed up this trip with another trip, this time to the beaches of Karnataka with a gang of 10 people. This was another lot of fun trip as we saw breathtaking beaches on the west coast of India. Gokarna, which has always been a place that I have dreaded and almost have respect out of fear for was so good on this trip that we ended up spending about half of our time here.
Next major trip I had was pretty major even by my standards. Me and "the tall mallu" took a week off from work and we headed on a road trip with destination unknown. 9 days with most social contact with just one other person is a complex situation. Trips sometimes can be more frustrating than usual times because there will be times when one will have to do something which he/she dislikes doing because the others will be interested in doing something. So the "frequency" match is very vital on trips. And this trip, like few others with this "tall mallu" was another wonderful experience with treks, train rides, bus rides, auto rides, lorry rides, truck rides, trips to the police station, sleep in the railway station and cheap and sidey lodges, a visit to all the major pubs in vizag and beaches in which there was not a human soul in the two kilometer radius. Another highlight to this trip was that we didn’t carry a camera on purpose (well actually, I dislike the concept of cameras on trips and the tall mallu would have carried one if he had one) and hence I have no proof of being on this trip. :)
I have also gone on a couple of trips to friends’ weddings. One trip to Bellary and another recently to Davengere to attend Homo’s wedding. On both the trips, “Mysore Baba” was present and hence the highlight of both the trips.
In a couple of hours, I am heading towards Chikkamangalore with another set of friends to welcome 2009.
Purse - Check
Watch - Check
Cell phone - Check
Car Keys - Check
Jacket - Check
Charger - oh fuck!
All Set, preparing launch sequence.
Get...
Set...
Go...
Fade to black
(Lights on)
Its a dark balcony. Not really a balcony because this has lots of windows to be called a balcony. There are ropes dangling between the walls where lots of mens’ under garments are hung. The yellow bulb is glowing bright but the walls are cast with the shadows of the underwear hanging on the ropes. A man is sitting on a table with a pack of cigarettes in his hand. Just as he lights up, his brother walks in.
Man: Howdy!
Brother: Wassup?
Man: Here (offering him the pack)
Brother: (Takes a cigarette, lites it up) Thanks brother, but I finally want to quit
Man: Me too. Lets do it together.
Brother: Alright, henceforth lets never meet for a smoke ever again.
Man: Sounds good.
(They take a couple of drags)
Man: Even if we meet and I see you smoking, I am going to go away.
Brother: Me too
(Couple more)
Brother: But that also doesnt mean that we dont smoke when we are not together right?
Man: Ofcourse (smiling)
Brother: It doesnt matter what you do. I am not going to smoke, and you better not smoke when I am around. Thats all this deal is about anyway right?
Man: Ofcourse. I am going to set a good example as your elder brother.
Brother: (smiling) and I will be a good brother and respect you so much that I would be scared to smoke in front of you
(Stub their cigarettes)
Man: Alright, thats the deal then (stretches out his hand)
Brother: Deal
(They shake hands)
(Silence)
(Silence)
Man: The deal is that we stop smoking right? when does this apply from?
Brother: I dont know, you decide.
Man: Tomorrow?
Brother: Alright
Man: (Lighting up one cigarette) So alright, here is my last cigarette
Brother: Mine too
(Fade to black)
Its a dark balcony. Not really a balcony because this has lots of windows to be called a balcony. There are ropes dangling between the walls where lots of mens’ under garments are hung. The yellow bulb is glowing bright but the walls are cast with the shadows of the underwear hanging on the ropes. A man is sitting on a table with a pack of cigarettes in his hand. Just as he lights up, his brother walks in.
Man: Howdy!
Brother: Wassup?
Man: Here (offering him the pack)
Brother: (Takes a cigarette, lites it up) Thanks brother, but I finally want to quit
Man: Me too. Lets do it together.
Brother: Alright, henceforth lets never meet for a smoke ever again.
Man: Sounds good.
(They take a couple of drags)
Man: Even if we meet and I see you smoking, I am going to go away.
Brother: Me too
(Couple more)
Brother: But that also doesnt mean that we dont smoke when we are not together right?
Man: Ofcourse (smiling)
Brother: It doesnt matter what you do. I am not going to smoke, and you better not smoke when I am around. Thats all this deal is about anyway right?
Man: Ofcourse. I am going to set a good example as your elder brother.
Brother: (smiling) and I will be a good brother and respect you so much that I would be scared to smoke in front of you
(Stub their cigarettes)
Man: Alright, thats the deal then (stretches out his hand)
Brother: Deal
(They shake hands)
(Silence)
(Silence)
Man: The deal is that we stop smoking right? when does this apply from?
Brother: I dont know, you decide.
Man: Tomorrow?
Brother: Alright
Man: (Lighting up one cigarette) So alright, here is my last cigarette
Brother: Mine too
(Fade to black)
Friday, December 26, 2008
Good India
I was riding back home late yesterday night from work. Bangalore has become awfully cold these days. For someone who has lived in this city for more than half my life, this is the coldest I have experienced here. Coldest winter they say. But I don’t think it’s cold only because of the weather. Either ways I have found myself a pair of biker gloves and an ordinary looking fake Ferrari jacket since I re-took my riding in an attempt to become a biker! And started wearing shoes which I so dislike wearing.
But like I said, it’s not just the weather. Today, riding a bike at hours close to midnight is a risk one must be willing to take. A risk to one’s life so to say. Hazaar drunk drivers buzzing on the streets in Bangalore jumping traffic signals and hitting one ways alike. And the cops are busy checking if people have a valid insurance. The whole cops scene is such a farce I tell you. I have come across numerous scenes of utter comedy. There would be a traffic jam and an ambulance stuck in it but these traffic cops would be busy filling their pockets round the corner under a shady tree where no one can see them, almost surprising travelers as they pounce and take away the keys, much like how a hungry lioness would snap an innocent deer. Or there would be two people fist fighting it out on the street and the sheepy constable would be a mere spectator. Drunk drivers apart, these are the days of terror. With 26 11 et all and the India Pak war on the verge and all that jazz happening in the background, the air out there, especially in the evenings, when it gets kinda dark is spooky in its own way. You never know if the biker next to you has an AK47 and would start shooting at will the next moment, or the car ahead of you is going to explode in mid travel, or the truck behind you is carrying a dozen terrorists. India has gone to dogs! The world has gone to dogs!
Thats when a thought occured to me. Just extrapolating the events occurring now, in another 6 months, India goes to polls. If at around that time, if a war breaks out between the two nations (or the third world war with religion being the cause for it), then I am sure India will not have a leader. Congress ready to wash its hands of the dirty shit and with no polls and no one to take responsibility, it could be a disaster waiting to happen. This is the time when the world needs a revolution. India needs a revolution. A movement which is way bigger than any war for freeing India from its foreigners. A war for freedom, my freedom, your freedom, everyones freedom. I would want to go home at midnight on my bike with the secure thought that if I dont reach home safely tonight, it would only be because of my stupidity. I would not be under a drunken bus driver wheels, I would not be beaten up by 5 goons who do away with my bike my cellphone and my ATM cards and my gold chain. That’s the freedom I am asking for. To go out to a bar with my girl and have a drink without being scared about coming back in one piece. A freedom to go to a Road transport office and get my drivers licence done without being harassed. When I am old and retired and I want my Providant Fund money, I want to freedom to not worry about standing in a line ispite of my health condition a hundred times before I get less than half of what is due to me. The freedom to be a part of "Good India" of numerous cultures, languages and traditions, the Ram Rajya and not a part of corrupt, painful, bureaucratic, filthy "Bad India".
A revolution is all it needs.
Those were the days when news papers were just a dream and communication of the ideas of the "leaders" who emerged was the biggest issue. Today is the world of internet and cyberspace and we are in the edge of conquering the telecommunication sphere. The world has shrunk from a size 44 to a size 11. Everyone, even half way around the world is just a button press away. So sending the word out to the people is not a problem at all. So it’s a matter of a real man emerging and leading the movement towards "Good India". Would that leader emerge? Is that leader born yet?
These were the questions I found myself asking as I reached the gate of my building. I had reached home safely today. Tomorrow is a new fight altogether. The was locked from inside. I kinda feel all my neighbors in my building dislike me. Even tho I see to it that there is no loud music or late night parties at my place or smoking anywhere in and around the building, they seem to be very hostile towards me. I guess its the bachelor tag I carry with me. So I have to park my bike outside, jump the wall to get inside MY house and go to sleep. This is the freedom I am left with to enjoy!
But like I said, it’s not just the weather. Today, riding a bike at hours close to midnight is a risk one must be willing to take. A risk to one’s life so to say. Hazaar drunk drivers buzzing on the streets in Bangalore jumping traffic signals and hitting one ways alike. And the cops are busy checking if people have a valid insurance. The whole cops scene is such a farce I tell you. I have come across numerous scenes of utter comedy. There would be a traffic jam and an ambulance stuck in it but these traffic cops would be busy filling their pockets round the corner under a shady tree where no one can see them, almost surprising travelers as they pounce and take away the keys, much like how a hungry lioness would snap an innocent deer. Or there would be two people fist fighting it out on the street and the sheepy constable would be a mere spectator. Drunk drivers apart, these are the days of terror. With 26 11 et all and the India Pak war on the verge and all that jazz happening in the background, the air out there, especially in the evenings, when it gets kinda dark is spooky in its own way. You never know if the biker next to you has an AK47 and would start shooting at will the next moment, or the car ahead of you is going to explode in mid travel, or the truck behind you is carrying a dozen terrorists. India has gone to dogs! The world has gone to dogs!
Thats when a thought occured to me. Just extrapolating the events occurring now, in another 6 months, India goes to polls. If at around that time, if a war breaks out between the two nations (or the third world war with religion being the cause for it), then I am sure India will not have a leader. Congress ready to wash its hands of the dirty shit and with no polls and no one to take responsibility, it could be a disaster waiting to happen. This is the time when the world needs a revolution. India needs a revolution. A movement which is way bigger than any war for freeing India from its foreigners. A war for freedom, my freedom, your freedom, everyones freedom. I would want to go home at midnight on my bike with the secure thought that if I dont reach home safely tonight, it would only be because of my stupidity. I would not be under a drunken bus driver wheels, I would not be beaten up by 5 goons who do away with my bike my cellphone and my ATM cards and my gold chain. That’s the freedom I am asking for. To go out to a bar with my girl and have a drink without being scared about coming back in one piece. A freedom to go to a Road transport office and get my drivers licence done without being harassed. When I am old and retired and I want my Providant Fund money, I want to freedom to not worry about standing in a line ispite of my health condition a hundred times before I get less than half of what is due to me. The freedom to be a part of "Good India" of numerous cultures, languages and traditions, the Ram Rajya and not a part of corrupt, painful, bureaucratic, filthy "Bad India".
A revolution is all it needs.
Those were the days when news papers were just a dream and communication of the ideas of the "leaders" who emerged was the biggest issue. Today is the world of internet and cyberspace and we are in the edge of conquering the telecommunication sphere. The world has shrunk from a size 44 to a size 11. Everyone, even half way around the world is just a button press away. So sending the word out to the people is not a problem at all. So it’s a matter of a real man emerging and leading the movement towards "Good India". Would that leader emerge? Is that leader born yet?
These were the questions I found myself asking as I reached the gate of my building. I had reached home safely today. Tomorrow is a new fight altogether. The was locked from inside. I kinda feel all my neighbors in my building dislike me. Even tho I see to it that there is no loud music or late night parties at my place or smoking anywhere in and around the building, they seem to be very hostile towards me. I guess its the bachelor tag I carry with me. So I have to park my bike outside, jump the wall to get inside MY house and go to sleep. This is the freedom I am left with to enjoy!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Automagic!
One of the strangest things happened the other day. One of my “My firsts”. I was at home in the night with my car and bike both parked at work. For someone who detests using the cell phone, my car and my bike are the only outlets for me to have any contact with the outside world. There were my most preferred (read only) modes of transportation I have ever known in my life in Bangalore. Until Recently. Until recently I found the luxury of an auto.
The auto as its called here in Bangalore is, I have figured out recently is the best mode of transportation one can use for an inter city travel. Its safer than a bike, faster than a car, simpler than a bus and definitely not as "healthy" as the bicycle (but I some how find it very funny when I hear of friend's friend's friends using bycycles to commute to work, play etc .. I dont know why… its just way too funny...). And its kinda not as expensive as one assumes it to be (or atleast I assumed it to be). I kinda feel I am the king when I am sitting in the back of an auto. I tend to put on the "The chauffer driven busy person" look which the chauffer driven motherfuckers usually tend to have. And for once I dont feel pissed I am in a traffic jam. I am in a jam alright; but I am not the one shifting gears, honking horns or clutching the clutch. And most auto guys tend to put on a conversation if you are willing to talk. There again, a choice of entertainment. If required.
I am just coming off a pretty long trip to Vizag[took off from work for one week straight and went in search of my soul like everyone who go in search of their souls... not sure where to find it though]. This trip had me taking the help of public transport mostly(unless I was made to walk, swim or climb up and down treacherous terrain). The different thing about autos there is that they have this "shared" thingi going on. You can share auto rides. So usually you will in an auto with strangers. Its kinda unbelievable how many people can fit into an auto. I have, on record, been a part of an auto journey for nearly 25 kms with 10 adults and 2 kids in the auto from beach road to Bhimulipattanam. One hell of a ride. I loved it!
The other advantages of travelling in an auto:
• Smoking is a pleasure because you are not thinking about driving along with smoking and also the ventilation is best in an auto (I must make a point here in saying that smoking is injurious to health. I am just listing the advantages of an auto, not bad habits of people. And an auto almost always has a light to offer)
• In case of an accident, the crowd usually is on our side (Its amazing how the auto drivers group together when one of them is in trouble)
• You can never be caught for drunk driving( and its fuckin 2000 bucks if you get caught drunk driving fyi)
• Parking is never a concern
• Cell phone conversations are simpler.
• If one auto has mechanical trouble, there are hazaar others around.
• Most autos have pretty actress on their walls (which is good in a sidey way. The women have to cheer up… cos I have seen autos with men on the walls as well… these are the gay driven autos I think)
May be the traffic situation in Bangalore could improve if we introduced the concept of shared autos. Anyway I see school autos loaded with kids. Hundreds of them fitted like the soap counter in a departmental store. If we can all fit into once such auto everyday and commute, then metro rail can go kiss my ass!
But for now, its sad scene(almost teary… the other day it took me over an hour and a half to get from the end of MG to touch old madras road thro indranagar… an area I have lived 3 years in and know pretty well the in-roads) on account of the metro and my "The chauffer driven busy person" look thats in fashion these days.
Shankar annange jai!!
The auto as its called here in Bangalore is, I have figured out recently is the best mode of transportation one can use for an inter city travel. Its safer than a bike, faster than a car, simpler than a bus and definitely not as "healthy" as the bicycle (but I some how find it very funny when I hear of friend's friend's friends using bycycles to commute to work, play etc .. I dont know why… its just way too funny...). And its kinda not as expensive as one assumes it to be (or atleast I assumed it to be). I kinda feel I am the king when I am sitting in the back of an auto. I tend to put on the "The chauffer driven busy person" look which the chauffer driven motherfuckers usually tend to have. And for once I dont feel pissed I am in a traffic jam. I am in a jam alright; but I am not the one shifting gears, honking horns or clutching the clutch. And most auto guys tend to put on a conversation if you are willing to talk. There again, a choice of entertainment. If required.
I am just coming off a pretty long trip to Vizag[took off from work for one week straight and went in search of my soul like everyone who go in search of their souls... not sure where to find it though]. This trip had me taking the help of public transport mostly(unless I was made to walk, swim or climb up and down treacherous terrain). The different thing about autos there is that they have this "shared" thingi going on. You can share auto rides. So usually you will in an auto with strangers. Its kinda unbelievable how many people can fit into an auto. I have, on record, been a part of an auto journey for nearly 25 kms with 10 adults and 2 kids in the auto from beach road to Bhimulipattanam. One hell of a ride. I loved it!
The other advantages of travelling in an auto:
• Smoking is a pleasure because you are not thinking about driving along with smoking and also the ventilation is best in an auto (I must make a point here in saying that smoking is injurious to health. I am just listing the advantages of an auto, not bad habits of people. And an auto almost always has a light to offer)
• In case of an accident, the crowd usually is on our side (Its amazing how the auto drivers group together when one of them is in trouble)
• You can never be caught for drunk driving( and its fuckin 2000 bucks if you get caught drunk driving fyi)
• Parking is never a concern
• Cell phone conversations are simpler.
• If one auto has mechanical trouble, there are hazaar others around.
• Most autos have pretty actress on their walls (which is good in a sidey way. The women have to cheer up… cos I have seen autos with men on the walls as well… these are the gay driven autos I think)
May be the traffic situation in Bangalore could improve if we introduced the concept of shared autos. Anyway I see school autos loaded with kids. Hundreds of them fitted like the soap counter in a departmental store. If we can all fit into once such auto everyday and commute, then metro rail can go kiss my ass!
But for now, its sad scene(almost teary… the other day it took me over an hour and a half to get from the end of MG to touch old madras road thro indranagar… an area I have lived 3 years in and know pretty well the in-roads) on account of the metro and my "The chauffer driven busy person" look thats in fashion these days.
Shankar annange jai!!
Friday, November 14, 2008
.. and they lived happily ever after
This happened about 25 years ago, on one rainy evening, which pretty much changed my life. I was over at Amit's for a party. I have never been a party person. I dislike crowds and detest loud music. But I was still there, to greet Amit on his 25th birthday. I had had my Chevas Regal, a peg too many and I was out in the balcony to get that "fresh air" in. Parties can be claustrophobic, or that was the explanation I gave to get some space. I just wanted to be away from the crowd, especially with that extra drink.
Its funny how life changing events occur in one’s life mostly when one has had that extra drink. I was looking at the street below, the to and fro motion of cars' lights in the rain which was kinda psychedelic in itself and I was lost in transportation I think when I heard a female voice, that sweet voice that I have never been able to forget till date. I fell in love with Deepti at that instant and it has never changed ever since.
My life changed after that evening. Not just mine, ours. Deepti and me have been together ever since. We had decided to get married, but we faced the usual issues. First it was my mom, who thought living together before marriage was outrageous. Once she was convinced that there was a wedding on the cards, it was her Chennai bred tam bram dad who disapproved me because of my caste. But as time passed we stopped caring for others and slowly everyone started caring less. That’s the best thing about time. As it passes, people get busy and start caring less. And we never really got married per say, but as romantics would put it, we were married in our hearts.
Life has been wonderful ever since that rainy evening tho. Every day, I come back from work to find Deepti waiting for me with a bright smile on her face, irrespective of the time I walk in. I give her a gist of whatever happened in office and she has the patience to listen to anything I have to tell her. It doesn’t matter if I am talking about office politics and how that ridiculous Mr.Khanna became the Vice President ahead of me, or if I talk about the reason for profit in our company is directly dependent on the labor laws in the US.
Sundays are the best. I make it a point to wake up early on Sundays to cook breakfast. Once I am done, I bring out the morning news paper, and over a cup of coffee, I read it out to Deepti, carefully avoiding the crime and accident sections. She never reads the news paper herself, and I suspect that she does that because she hates hearing about accidents or crime. When my mom visits, she says I need to have a more social life, but I am mighty content with the life I have with Deepti.
Deepti died in a car crash about a year after I met her. All that is left of her is that beautiful photograph on the wall, always smiling. But then, I don’t miss her, because she is always there for me. Always there, to greet me with a smile everyday I come back home.
Its funny how life changing events occur in one’s life mostly when one has had that extra drink. I was looking at the street below, the to and fro motion of cars' lights in the rain which was kinda psychedelic in itself and I was lost in transportation I think when I heard a female voice, that sweet voice that I have never been able to forget till date. I fell in love with Deepti at that instant and it has never changed ever since.
My life changed after that evening. Not just mine, ours. Deepti and me have been together ever since. We had decided to get married, but we faced the usual issues. First it was my mom, who thought living together before marriage was outrageous. Once she was convinced that there was a wedding on the cards, it was her Chennai bred tam bram dad who disapproved me because of my caste. But as time passed we stopped caring for others and slowly everyone started caring less. That’s the best thing about time. As it passes, people get busy and start caring less. And we never really got married per say, but as romantics would put it, we were married in our hearts.
Life has been wonderful ever since that rainy evening tho. Every day, I come back from work to find Deepti waiting for me with a bright smile on her face, irrespective of the time I walk in. I give her a gist of whatever happened in office and she has the patience to listen to anything I have to tell her. It doesn’t matter if I am talking about office politics and how that ridiculous Mr.Khanna became the Vice President ahead of me, or if I talk about the reason for profit in our company is directly dependent on the labor laws in the US.
Sundays are the best. I make it a point to wake up early on Sundays to cook breakfast. Once I am done, I bring out the morning news paper, and over a cup of coffee, I read it out to Deepti, carefully avoiding the crime and accident sections. She never reads the news paper herself, and I suspect that she does that because she hates hearing about accidents or crime. When my mom visits, she says I need to have a more social life, but I am mighty content with the life I have with Deepti.
Deepti died in a car crash about a year after I met her. All that is left of her is that beautiful photograph on the wall, always smiling. But then, I don’t miss her, because she is always there for me. Always there, to greet me with a smile everyday I come back home.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Keeper in the park!
My devotion seems to be falling apart these days. I've hardly seen a 50 over cricket match live in ages. Life seems to be taking away too much of my time to give me my spiritual space. Hardly seen a live match, not even on TV. And they say Cricket is a religion and all here...
Yesterday, I happened to reach home right on time for a one day international. Pakistan v/s West Indies, Second innings, last few overs to be completed. The match was evenly poised. Pak needed some 90 odd of some 70 odd balls, 7 Wickets in hand. Khurram Manzoor and Salman Butt had given them a fair start. And for a change, I could see myself supporting Pakistan. After all they are neighbors, all the communalism apart.
Just as a thought, how can anyone be named butt? That too with the second T. Fuckin funny! School and college life would have been a torture for someone named Butt! Thank god our Butt knows to play cricket. :) Lucky basturd. I pity his brothers tho. Butt... with a double T. LOL.
The West Indies score card was a strange one too. Not just because of the funny names. Just that almost everyone is new in the team. Last I remember seeing them play cricket was the T20 world cup I guess. Damn! Life has taken over too much time! And I think I also saw a white West Indian too. Brendan Nash. I can’t believe that they have started making white people in West Indies. Wow! Thats something Ii didnt know! Other than the Taylor and the Baker, there is also this Sewnarine Chattergoon in their team. Chatter - Goon! What the fuck! Why would anyone do that to their son. Chatter - GOON! Dictionary.com has a stupid, foolish, or awkward person as an entry for Goon. A goon who chatters!! Why would anyone do that to their son?
Anyway, Pakistan happen to win the match. But I must add, WI stole defeat from the hands of the Pakis. Last over, 18 runs required to win and 2 wickets in hand. Kamaran Akmal played a gem. 2 6's and a four to finish off the game. A couple of wides which goes without saying, considering a WI bowler :P.
England series coming up :). Sidebottom will be on the score cards. :) Its happy days ahead :)
Yesterday, I happened to reach home right on time for a one day international. Pakistan v/s West Indies, Second innings, last few overs to be completed. The match was evenly poised. Pak needed some 90 odd of some 70 odd balls, 7 Wickets in hand. Khurram Manzoor and Salman Butt had given them a fair start. And for a change, I could see myself supporting Pakistan. After all they are neighbors, all the communalism apart.
Just as a thought, how can anyone be named butt? That too with the second T. Fuckin funny! School and college life would have been a torture for someone named Butt! Thank god our Butt knows to play cricket. :) Lucky basturd. I pity his brothers tho. Butt... with a double T. LOL.
The West Indies score card was a strange one too. Not just because of the funny names. Just that almost everyone is new in the team. Last I remember seeing them play cricket was the T20 world cup I guess. Damn! Life has taken over too much time! And I think I also saw a white West Indian too. Brendan Nash. I can’t believe that they have started making white people in West Indies. Wow! Thats something Ii didnt know! Other than the Taylor and the Baker, there is also this Sewnarine Chattergoon in their team. Chatter - Goon! What the fuck! Why would anyone do that to their son. Chatter - GOON! Dictionary.com has a stupid, foolish, or awkward person as an entry for Goon. A goon who chatters!! Why would anyone do that to their son?
Anyway, Pakistan happen to win the match. But I must add, WI stole defeat from the hands of the Pakis. Last over, 18 runs required to win and 2 wickets in hand. Kamaran Akmal played a gem. 2 6's and a four to finish off the game. A couple of wides which goes without saying, considering a WI bowler :P.
England series coming up :). Sidebottom will be on the score cards. :) Its happy days ahead :)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
D, Have I told you I love you? D
One of those "pissed at work and got home early" nights. I was watching this movie called "An indecent proposal". Nice movie (read hot chick with hot scenes). Simple bollywood masala style movie. Architect guy with a hot wife. Rich romeo finds her hot and there is this "Indecent proposal". They have sex. She feels bad and comes back. Am sure my friend Mr.Karan will find it interesting. Kabhi tho kuch karenge kushimain... Its all about loving your money.. or something like that
So, this architect guy, David something is pretty passionate about work when he gets time off from keeping off Demi Moore’s body. That’s the only other angle to his character. Architecture! So in one of his scenes where he is not having sex, he is teaching some kids about architecture. So he picks up a brick and asks "What is this?". "A brick" comes the first reply. "A weapon" says this chinese looking guy(violent basturds I say!). So this David guy says...
"A Brick Wants to be something"... (You must be wondering what he meant. Actually, everyone in the class is also wondering. That’s when he says, "Every brick wants to be something" and shows photographs of the Taj Mahal and the Great Wall of China and the Pyramids and the like.
I began to wonder when Ill start getting as passionate about my job. And if I become as passionate as David is towards architecture, I probably will have to say "Every if-else condition wants to be something"
Oh we are mighty sad people - us software engineers. For us, everything eventually fits into a if-else condition or a for-loop or a while-loop or some shit like that. Everything. Even life.
Eg,
if(day == friday || day == saturday)
{
drink till your balls pop out of your mouth
}
else()
{
eat like a pig and sleep like a dog
}
or something like that. Very simple
As I was saying, if I were to be as passionate about work, ill probabally have to wonder what SOMETHING has become of my if-else conditions. May be its on the Yahoo messenger, or may be in the latest Windows vista, or may be on the client you are using to read this crap!
But I know for a fact that today, one of the if-else condition I created is pretty fucked. Production problem. Null pointer in my if condition they say.
Software job, Have I told you I love you??
No??
Cos I dont!!
So, this architect guy, David something is pretty passionate about work when he gets time off from keeping off Demi Moore’s body. That’s the only other angle to his character. Architecture! So in one of his scenes where he is not having sex, he is teaching some kids about architecture. So he picks up a brick and asks "What is this?". "A brick" comes the first reply. "A weapon" says this chinese looking guy(violent basturds I say!). So this David guy says...
"A Brick Wants to be something"... (You must be wondering what he meant. Actually, everyone in the class is also wondering. That’s when he says, "Every brick wants to be something" and shows photographs of the Taj Mahal and the Great Wall of China and the Pyramids and the like.
I began to wonder when Ill start getting as passionate about my job. And if I become as passionate as David is towards architecture, I probably will have to say "Every if-else condition wants to be something"
Oh we are mighty sad people - us software engineers. For us, everything eventually fits into a if-else condition or a for-loop or a while-loop or some shit like that. Everything. Even life.
Eg,
if(day == friday || day == saturday)
{
drink till your balls pop out of your mouth
}
else()
{
eat like a pig and sleep like a dog
}
or something like that. Very simple
As I was saying, if I were to be as passionate about work, ill probabally have to wonder what SOMETHING has become of my if-else conditions. May be its on the Yahoo messenger, or may be in the latest Windows vista, or may be on the client you are using to read this crap!
But I know for a fact that today, one of the if-else condition I created is pretty fucked. Production problem. Null pointer in my if condition they say.
Software job, Have I told you I love you??
No??
Cos I dont!!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Monday! Green!
Tuesday Morning. I am late. Again! With the arrival of winter, my days have begun to start a little later than usual. It’s like my biological clock has undergone an "automatic day light savings" like in the US. But they haven’t changed the time here have they? So I am late again. It’s not like I SHOULD NOT be late. No one cares when I come in to work. I guess. I hope at least. But then we have this application running in office which kinda logs the in and out times of the day. And this stupid application puts in a "Late mark" smiley next to the date next to your name if you come in after 11. It’s not a big deal I suppose. But it’s something on the lines of, in school, if your shoes weren’t polished, you would be thrown out of the line. It’s not like they would do anything about it. But still, it’s a black mark... you become a dark sheep if you kinda repeat it. Its like that... So I have late marks for 5 continuous days in a row!
I am late today cos yesterday was a fuckall day! A terrible day at work! I hate Mondays. Really really hate.! Of all the mornings I have had to face in life, Monday mornings have been the worst. I've hated Mondays in school, in college and now in my so called professional life. I am yet to come to terms with this concept of 7 day weeks. What kind of a number is Seven! Seven days make one week! My ass
If it were left to me, I would have had 5 day weeks. A 5 day week with two weekends sounds so perfect. Over all I agree that the average number of productive hours in a year would reduce with this system. But now, no one works on Fridays do they? Hardly! So that would probably average out. And 5 is such a nicer number. It’s a round figure. I agree 10 is a rounder figure. But 10 day weeks would be fuckall! And another interesting thing is 365 is perfectly divisible by 5. So 5 day week actually makes so much more sense. No leap year confusions also. (For the mathematically disabled, test of divisibility by 5 is that the number has to end with either 0 or 5)
Anyhoo... he he he... that’s a funny thing to say. Anyhoo.. ANYHOOOO... I kinda picked this up from a blog I hit upon recently. I have been blog hopping these days, and in a process of continuous self improvement, I am trying to pick up interesting things from all the interesting things I get to read. I must say, there are gizillons of people out there with profound creativity and internet at their finger tips. Its crazy the kind of shit one gets to read in the blog space. One bunch of insane psychotic bloggers out there!
Anyhoo, yesterday, ie, the Monday before today... I had a bad baad day at work. I have been sitting on this bug for 3 days now. And this fuckin bug is screwing my behind all the 3 days now. I HATE my job. I HATE being a software engineer. It’s not usual for me to have a bad day at work. I don’t usually have one. Thats cos I am fuckin smart! [And people talk about modesty and all. My ass! (lol.. I picked this "my ass" also from the same blog I mentioned. The same Anyhoo shit..)]. Anyhoo, bad day at work yesterday. Bug fucking me front and back. Who better to show frustration than the boss! I need a pseudo name for the boss. (pseudo name concept again borrowed from the same blog)... Motherfucker!*
I think all bosses, irrespective of the field of work, fit very well into the definition of Motherfucker! *. Any job, if you are the boss to someone, you surely are a Motherfucker! It’s sad I agree. But that’s life. Face it… Someone out there right now, sitting in a bar would probably going “That Mother Fucker is one son of a bitch I tell you!” and he is talking about YOU.
Fuck! I hate my job. And I hate that Motherfucker* at work! Only thing that is keeping me from suicide right now is this mathematically challenged friend of mine. I want to give her a pseudo name too. Something nice. I like her. For now, let’s call her "Best Friend"* for now. Ill think of something NICE as later.
Anyhoo, like I was saying, the only thing that’s keeping me from suicide is this "bestfriend"* person and one more thing. It would be fuckin insane to die after all the dreams I have had about life. In my dream I am always the HERO. A total studd boy! And its a wonderful dream my dream! I definitely don’t want to die. Not suicide at least. But why I talk about suicide you must be wondering. I heard of a friends friend who committed the sin when I was having a "post dinner drink" with the former (the one who told me the story). The later, (friends’ friend.) popped some sleeping pills and hung himself to the ceiling fan at home. Fuckin looser!! Love case it seems. Love case! My ass!
I agree relationships and love and career and jobs and parents and all that jazz are funny and depressing most times! But whatever is the case... Suicide is a farce! It doesn’t matter if it’s your drunk husband beating the shit out of you, or if your girlfriend ditched you for the looser that you are, or your gay teacher feels your willy every day during recess... or its that Motherfucker at work getting on your nerves. Relax! Its not the end of the world!
But bottom-line! I HATE my job.! Especially Mondays. They should fuckin have 5 day weeks!
I am late today cos yesterday was a fuckall day! A terrible day at work! I hate Mondays. Really really hate.! Of all the mornings I have had to face in life, Monday mornings have been the worst. I've hated Mondays in school, in college and now in my so called professional life. I am yet to come to terms with this concept of 7 day weeks. What kind of a number is Seven! Seven days make one week! My ass
If it were left to me, I would have had 5 day weeks. A 5 day week with two weekends sounds so perfect. Over all I agree that the average number of productive hours in a year would reduce with this system. But now, no one works on Fridays do they? Hardly! So that would probably average out. And 5 is such a nicer number. It’s a round figure. I agree 10 is a rounder figure. But 10 day weeks would be fuckall! And another interesting thing is 365 is perfectly divisible by 5. So 5 day week actually makes so much more sense. No leap year confusions also. (For the mathematically disabled, test of divisibility by 5 is that the number has to end with either 0 or 5)
Anyhoo... he he he... that’s a funny thing to say. Anyhoo.. ANYHOOOO... I kinda picked this up from a blog I hit upon recently. I have been blog hopping these days, and in a process of continuous self improvement, I am trying to pick up interesting things from all the interesting things I get to read. I must say, there are gizillons of people out there with profound creativity and internet at their finger tips. Its crazy the kind of shit one gets to read in the blog space. One bunch of insane psychotic bloggers out there!
Anyhoo, yesterday, ie, the Monday before today... I had a bad baad day at work. I have been sitting on this bug for 3 days now. And this fuckin bug is screwing my behind all the 3 days now. I HATE my job. I HATE being a software engineer. It’s not usual for me to have a bad day at work. I don’t usually have one. Thats cos I am fuckin smart! [And people talk about modesty and all. My ass! (lol.. I picked this "my ass" also from the same blog I mentioned. The same Anyhoo shit..)]. Anyhoo, bad day at work yesterday. Bug fucking me front and back. Who better to show frustration than the boss! I need a pseudo name for the boss. (pseudo name concept again borrowed from the same blog)... Motherfucker!*
I think all bosses, irrespective of the field of work, fit very well into the definition of Motherfucker! *. Any job, if you are the boss to someone, you surely are a Motherfucker! It’s sad I agree. But that’s life. Face it… Someone out there right now, sitting in a bar would probably going “That Mother Fucker is one son of a bitch I tell you!” and he is talking about YOU.
Fuck! I hate my job. And I hate that Motherfucker* at work! Only thing that is keeping me from suicide right now is this mathematically challenged friend of mine. I want to give her a pseudo name too. Something nice. I like her. For now, let’s call her "Best Friend"* for now. Ill think of something NICE as later.
Anyhoo, like I was saying, the only thing that’s keeping me from suicide is this "bestfriend"* person and one more thing. It would be fuckin insane to die after all the dreams I have had about life. In my dream I am always the HERO. A total studd boy! And its a wonderful dream my dream! I definitely don’t want to die. Not suicide at least. But why I talk about suicide you must be wondering. I heard of a friends friend who committed the sin when I was having a "post dinner drink" with the former (the one who told me the story). The later, (friends’ friend.) popped some sleeping pills and hung himself to the ceiling fan at home. Fuckin looser!! Love case it seems. Love case! My ass!
I agree relationships and love and career and jobs and parents and all that jazz are funny and depressing most times! But whatever is the case... Suicide is a farce! It doesn’t matter if it’s your drunk husband beating the shit out of you, or if your girlfriend ditched you for the looser that you are, or your gay teacher feels your willy every day during recess... or its that Motherfucker at work getting on your nerves. Relax! Its not the end of the world!
But bottom-line! I HATE my job.! Especially Mondays. They should fuckin have 5 day weeks!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Psycho - A review
Watching a movie on Friday evenings is the best way to kick start a week end. It just about puts a perfect end to the week and a makes the week end a more convincing one to spend. It’s like, in cricket, hitting a six of the first ball faced. This week it was Devadatta’s Psycho, a movie I had been waiting to watch for a loooong time.
The songs of Psycho I heard / have been listening to for over a year now. Raghu Dixit, who, I have been following since spotting him first singing a song about a girl from Mysore in Alliance Francis and at the Fire Flies Music festival of 2007 and I have become a fan of, has rendered the background score and the music for the movie. This is his debut in films. So I was already a fan of the movie which already made it one of the most awaited movies EVER. Having said that, I also hoped and prayed that the movie is not SO bad as to letting down the songs. Prayers seems to have been answered.
Devadatta had not revealed either the cast of the movie, the shooting of which started in the May of 2007. All that was revealed till the movie finally released for the “Rajyaotsava” of 2008 were the songs and a couple of trailers of UTube. The release itself was different, in the sense that I got to know about the release on the Friday, about 8 hours before I was in the theater watching the First Show!
The story is about Pavana (played by Anitha a newcomer), who is trying to fix her career as a TV anchor. Psycho (played by another newcomer, Dhanush), as the name suggests is a psychotic lover. He is obsessed with Anitha and stalks her and such. Most of the scenes are very naturally played and the excellent camera work, both in the songs as well as the movie makes simple scenes look very intense. Dhanush has done an excellent work playing a loner in love with Pavana. I personally liked the scene in which he picks up the flowers that fall off Pavana's locks and how he shivers when he picks it up. The setting of the movie is also excellent. The house of pyscho has been meticulously planned with lots of importance given to details. The background score needs more than a mention to the success of the movie. The best part is that the songs have been shot very well, not letting down Raghu's music.
Although Devadatta claims this is an original story, I feel that the characterization of Psycho is subtly based on Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock’s original with the same name. Similarity, in the lines of his split personality, and the reason for this disorder in him. But the nice part is that, that’s where the similarity ends. Just one scene, almost at the end of the movie where "Psycho" wears a sari and calls his lover out maps very well to the original.
I felt that the screen play and the dialogues could have been worked on a little bit more. Some of the dialogues are very very flat, sometimes bringing about unintended humor which spoilt the seriousness of the film. I also felt sometimes that some scenes are very long, hence felt the urge to either check my cell phone or pass a comment. But, overall, the subject matter has been dealt with amazingly well, that too for a Kannada film.
All in all, easily a 4 and a half out of 5 for Devadatta's Psycho with special mentions to Raghu Dixit for the music and Sandeep Kumar, the man behind the camera. This movie is definitely hitting my DVD collection. Now that I think about it, there aint much of a collection I have. So Psycho probably marks the beginning of my DVD collection. Pirated or otherwise!. But its a definite watch in theater. More than once for the music at least. If you need company, book a ticket for me and I’ll be there
The songs of Psycho I heard / have been listening to for over a year now. Raghu Dixit, who, I have been following since spotting him first singing a song about a girl from Mysore in Alliance Francis and at the Fire Flies Music festival of 2007 and I have become a fan of, has rendered the background score and the music for the movie. This is his debut in films. So I was already a fan of the movie which already made it one of the most awaited movies EVER. Having said that, I also hoped and prayed that the movie is not SO bad as to letting down the songs. Prayers seems to have been answered.
Devadatta had not revealed either the cast of the movie, the shooting of which started in the May of 2007. All that was revealed till the movie finally released for the “Rajyaotsava” of 2008 were the songs and a couple of trailers of UTube. The release itself was different, in the sense that I got to know about the release on the Friday, about 8 hours before I was in the theater watching the First Show!
The story is about Pavana (played by Anitha a newcomer), who is trying to fix her career as a TV anchor. Psycho (played by another newcomer, Dhanush), as the name suggests is a psychotic lover. He is obsessed with Anitha and stalks her and such. Most of the scenes are very naturally played and the excellent camera work, both in the songs as well as the movie makes simple scenes look very intense. Dhanush has done an excellent work playing a loner in love with Pavana. I personally liked the scene in which he picks up the flowers that fall off Pavana's locks and how he shivers when he picks it up. The setting of the movie is also excellent. The house of pyscho has been meticulously planned with lots of importance given to details. The background score needs more than a mention to the success of the movie. The best part is that the songs have been shot very well, not letting down Raghu's music.
Although Devadatta claims this is an original story, I feel that the characterization of Psycho is subtly based on Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock’s original with the same name. Similarity, in the lines of his split personality, and the reason for this disorder in him. But the nice part is that, that’s where the similarity ends. Just one scene, almost at the end of the movie where "Psycho" wears a sari and calls his lover out maps very well to the original.
I felt that the screen play and the dialogues could have been worked on a little bit more. Some of the dialogues are very very flat, sometimes bringing about unintended humor which spoilt the seriousness of the film. I also felt sometimes that some scenes are very long, hence felt the urge to either check my cell phone or pass a comment. But, overall, the subject matter has been dealt with amazingly well, that too for a Kannada film.
All in all, easily a 4 and a half out of 5 for Devadatta's Psycho with special mentions to Raghu Dixit for the music and Sandeep Kumar, the man behind the camera. This movie is definitely hitting my DVD collection. Now that I think about it, there aint much of a collection I have. So Psycho probably marks the beginning of my DVD collection. Pirated or otherwise!. But its a definite watch in theater. More than once for the music at least. If you need company, book a ticket for me and I’ll be there
Friday, October 31, 2008
A Family Blog
This is not an original piece. This has been plagiarized from a piece I read some time ago, the source of which is unmentionable. But having said that, its not an exact copy of what I read the other day, the source of which is unmentionable. This is just an adaptation so to say. Actually not even an adaptation. Lets just say its my interpretation of a piece I read some time ago, the source of which is unmentionable. To be precise, its just how much of the story I read, the source of which is unmentionable, I remember.
To be more fair to me, (The world seems to be so unfair these days that one at least has to be fair with oneself... Its like, in democracy, the best part is that you certain you at least get one vote, yours. If you don’t get either, then you really have to be a sore looser.)... as I was saying, to be fair to myself, the story I read, the source of which is unmentionable is in fact already an adaptation of a 1920s Hollywood flick which actually was already a "director's interpretation of a 11th century love story". So basically the following peice is an edited version of a piece I read, the source of which is unmentionable which is an adaptation of a 1920's Hollywood flick that was the director's interpretation of a 11th century love story.
Before I get on with the piece, an intelligent reader will be pleased to know that there are in fact multiple versions of this particular 11th century love story. And allegedly lot of present day Bollywood movies based on some of these versions. One author, Ustad Karam Fuckruddin of Pakistan, who claims to be the original descendent of the original writer of this story has in fact filed a petition in the Islamabad high court claiming copyright violation by movie makes of "Troy" stating that some scenes from the movie are exact replica of the works of his fore father. There was another interesting story in the papers of a Malayalam movie, starring one of their most famous "Shakeela" to star in a movie based on this story. An unknown but reliable source, having direct contact with the script writer for this movie swears that the movie contained 3 explicit sex scenes and Shakeela, had on being forced that the soul of the movie would be lost without them scenes, had agreed on complete nudity. More details exist about the script, for a movie that was not made at all.. but I shall refrain from getting into them. The reason being, I am on a campaign of trying to make my blog a "Family Blog", suitable for readers of all ages, irrespective of the species. So my version has all the sex scenes deleted.
So here is the edited version of a piece I read, the source of which is unmentionable which is an adaptation of a 1920's Hollywood flick that was the director's interpretation of a 11th century love story. Have tried to use the native language to preserve the intensity of the piece:
Ek tha raaja, ek tha raani.
Dono margaye Katham Kahani.
To be more fair to me, (The world seems to be so unfair these days that one at least has to be fair with oneself... Its like, in democracy, the best part is that you certain you at least get one vote, yours. If you don’t get either, then you really have to be a sore looser.)... as I was saying, to be fair to myself, the story I read, the source of which is unmentionable is in fact already an adaptation of a 1920s Hollywood flick which actually was already a "director's interpretation of a 11th century love story". So basically the following peice is an edited version of a piece I read, the source of which is unmentionable which is an adaptation of a 1920's Hollywood flick that was the director's interpretation of a 11th century love story.
Before I get on with the piece, an intelligent reader will be pleased to know that there are in fact multiple versions of this particular 11th century love story. And allegedly lot of present day Bollywood movies based on some of these versions. One author, Ustad Karam Fuckruddin of Pakistan, who claims to be the original descendent of the original writer of this story has in fact filed a petition in the Islamabad high court claiming copyright violation by movie makes of "Troy" stating that some scenes from the movie are exact replica of the works of his fore father. There was another interesting story in the papers of a Malayalam movie, starring one of their most famous "Shakeela" to star in a movie based on this story. An unknown but reliable source, having direct contact with the script writer for this movie swears that the movie contained 3 explicit sex scenes and Shakeela, had on being forced that the soul of the movie would be lost without them scenes, had agreed on complete nudity. More details exist about the script, for a movie that was not made at all.. but I shall refrain from getting into them. The reason being, I am on a campaign of trying to make my blog a "Family Blog", suitable for readers of all ages, irrespective of the species. So my version has all the sex scenes deleted.
So here is the edited version of a piece I read, the source of which is unmentionable which is an adaptation of a 1920's Hollywood flick that was the director's interpretation of a 11th century love story. Have tried to use the native language to preserve the intensity of the piece:
Ek tha raaja, ek tha raani.
Dono margaye Katham Kahani.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Lights!! Sound!!
Its difficult not to blog about Mysore every time I visit home. Especially if its a long week end i spend at home, i cant NOT write about mysore. Its such a cool place I say! The roads, the traffic, the greenery, the people, the time one has there is all so overwhelming. Mysore is heaven. Even if its Diwali.
Diwali is here! The festival I hate the most! It should be banned! If smoking can be, so can Diwali! I want justice mii laaaawwd!!
Its been over 10 years since I decided not to be lighting fireworks for the festival. Some “child labor” play thingi I did when I was in school inspired the "young" me not to. It was a fight for the first two years I admit. You know, as a kid its kinda difficult to keep away from fire works. But with time, I figured out a way to resist temptation of every kind. And child labor my foot!!
Its just the smell and smoke and the sound and light and the sense of surprise that is attached with the festival that I hate. You are riding by yourself. As a practice, to avoid the signals, you take the side roads, through residential localities. You are happy. Its festival time!! You have had an awesome lunch and sure are going to have an awesome dinner as well. So you slowly cruise to fourth. BANG!! an atom bomb goes off. "Mother Fucker!!" my mind shouts. This is the element of surprise I was talking about I hate so much!! Those bloody kids who planned this damn thing are having a hearty laugh as well. Thats why I hate kids. More importantly, thats why I hate Diwali!
Happy festival anyway. I hope to have a safe Diwali at home, mostly in my bed!
Keep away from trouble! Be safe! Eat, sleep, Enjoy!!!
Coming back from Mysore, the few minutes before I get into my car are the most painful. It feels like I am being killed and being taken to the scary place below the bowells of the earth where the evil men live! After a relatively quick drive from Mysore, the traffic JAM at 8 AM is quiet a turn off. But like they say, Fate does not a multiple choice question. Its a statment!
Diwali is here! The festival I hate the most! It should be banned! If smoking can be, so can Diwali! I want justice mii laaaawwd!!
Its been over 10 years since I decided not to be lighting fireworks for the festival. Some “child labor” play thingi I did when I was in school inspired the "young" me not to. It was a fight for the first two years I admit. You know, as a kid its kinda difficult to keep away from fire works. But with time, I figured out a way to resist temptation of every kind. And child labor my foot!!
Its just the smell and smoke and the sound and light and the sense of surprise that is attached with the festival that I hate. You are riding by yourself. As a practice, to avoid the signals, you take the side roads, through residential localities. You are happy. Its festival time!! You have had an awesome lunch and sure are going to have an awesome dinner as well. So you slowly cruise to fourth. BANG!! an atom bomb goes off. "Mother Fucker!!" my mind shouts. This is the element of surprise I was talking about I hate so much!! Those bloody kids who planned this damn thing are having a hearty laugh as well. Thats why I hate kids. More importantly, thats why I hate Diwali!
Happy festival anyway. I hope to have a safe Diwali at home, mostly in my bed!
Keep away from trouble! Be safe! Eat, sleep, Enjoy!!!
Coming back from Mysore, the few minutes before I get into my car are the most painful. It feels like I am being killed and being taken to the scary place below the bowells of the earth where the evil men live! After a relatively quick drive from Mysore, the traffic JAM at 8 AM is quiet a turn off. But like they say, Fate does not a multiple choice question. Its a statment!
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