Monday, March 03, 2008

COCK Roaches

Disclosure: Dear Abhishek, Divya, Sunil, Nitin, and Jayashree, Merin the chick with the wierd name, Kishore and the rest of the gang whose name I have not mentioned: You guys are really great and have been great friends in my life and this is nothing to do with you guys. I hope we can remain friends after you guys read this.

It is said that the most important reason why the world might come to an end is a nuclear holocaust. It is also said that cockroaches are the only species on planet earth who will survive such a disaster. Cockroaches are also known for their survival in regions under any/all climatic conditions and/or any/all vegetation causing almost no harm to the surroundings. Just survive and lead on.

That is what I find similar about you people. Please note that this has nothing to do with your life style. Its just what you are. You seem to come over to any part of the country, any part of the world and survive just as comfortably as the locals. Manage, not just to survive on but to form a very nice and comfortable surroundings for your selves.

The best part about you is that you guys kinda join in with the crowd and make fun of yourselves. I feel your community is not just made fun of, but you guys are loved well and truly by one and all. Your "chai" is as sweet as each and every one of you. And each and every one of you are as funny as any one of you. You seem to pick up every language up pretty well, but with lots of pain. You sound pathetic if you speak any other tongue my friends. Some of you kinda shock me sometimes by giving out a perfectly perfect English. But sorry ladies and gentlemen, you kinda give yourselves away with your pronunciation of a few words. "Uncle", "Welcome" etc are enough dudes, to reveal yoru identity. Its so funny how you say it. So fuckin funny!!

Your language guys! I can go on and on about it. I am sure everyone feels odd and wierd listening to some one else's local tongue. But yours guys, is the ultimate. Of all the two years I managed to survive in your land, most of the time I heard your language and most of the time, my brain would be exploding with laughter. Every word you utter seems to be a swear word in atleast one of the other languages I know. And the amazing script you have that goes with your tongue just makes it all the more funny.

Woah!! The food!! I believe that each and every one of you lives a perfect life, if life is about enjoying 3 proper meals per day. I can imagine eating a hearty meal consisting of meat and non meat once a day. But I really cant fathom how you guys manage to eat so much and so much meat especially for breakfast. I submit to your stomachs. God bless your drainage system.

Another amazing thing about you guys is the profound sexuality you guys portray. Most of you are good looking in some sense of the other. But the kind of dresses you wear, both the men and women are so vulgar. Colorful and vulgar. Especially the men with the hairy thighs showing and all that. Tremendous libido you people portray. The funniest thing i ever heard about you guys was a comment from a friend of mine. Remember, he is semi your types, meaning his mother's parents are from your land. He says and i quote "These people are so confused with their sexuality that every one of them is by-sexual till they reach the age of 26"

There are way too many things that I can make fun of you guys -

Your movies, (I cant beleive that you guys cant beleive that the rest of the world refer to all your movies as Porn)

your hair styles, (HA HA HA HA)

your food habits, (comments blocked due to racial content)

your drinking habits, (Vijay Mallya is not complaining is he?)

your homes, (comments blocked due to racial content)

your clothes, (comments blocked due to adult content)

your women, (comments blocked due to adult content)

your men, (comments blocked due to racial content)

your education system, (comments blocked due to racial content)

your roads,

everything else. I am also sure that you guys will look at this with a decent sense of humor and laugh it out. Its just that its against my conscience to discuss you guys more. If you still think you need to break the shit out of me, please go ahead, find me and kill me.

Absolutely no hard feelings. Nothing is personal :)

Cheers

4 comments:

Priya said...

Wooohooo...my, your being really controvertial here huh? Good one again Teja!

Anonymous said...

Dude!!! have you put SOME info out there or what!! super,suttle,'sassy',sexy,smarty pants & sure all congratulations to the Smart spot of your brains!

Ameya said...

AWESOME read!!!! you did forget about Yem Yo Yet Yanother Yo Yen!!!

Merryn said...

HA HA HA!!!!!
Before i break all your bones in half... it M-E-R-R-Y-N... i am absolutely completely vehemently finicky about the way my name's spelt! Hmmmph! Though I am bestowed with a 'weird' name accodring to some psychos (PSHYCHO to be precise..singular honey), I shall refrain from entertaining a debate on that and comment on relevent issues :D
Hilarious read! Yes, I guess the best part about mallus (ahemm..."us" for some of us buggers here) is their ability to laugh at themselves! and god! am i rolling on the floor-clutching my sides-guffawing like a manic-laughing my ass off!!!!
Good one! And trust me... its gonna be coakroaches and a bunch of mallus who are gonna survive the nuke holocaust...
P.S: Subtlety is not one of your virtues is it :P... Love it!