Thursday, March 10, 2011

7 khoon maaf types

I dislike weddings in general. I hate them so much that if I were given a choice, I would not have even attended mine. The reasons why I dislike them is probably because I dislike all forms of social gatherings unless they involve beer consumption. I have never really tried to analyze the root of this issue to see why I am the way I am. Anyhow the point at this point is that I dislike weddings. However, there are times when attend them because of the in formidable forces acting on me. Like I did mine. A few others too.

 The other week end was one of those weddings I attended. It was that of the missus's friend's and I know the bride well enough to not to skip it. More over, I was the assigned driver and escort 7 women to and from the wedding hall.

Here are my top 7 observations, a dedication of one each for each of them I was blessed the company of:

 1. Women take at least twice as much time to get dressed to a wedding as compared to a normal day. This is excluding the time spent on the previous day to select the clothes, accessories and the works. If this selection involves any form of shopping, be it even for a rubber band, it would need an extra two days per item.

 2. Parallel processing is impossible for them while dressing up. If one woman takes 10 minutes (an under exaggerated figure, just for example) to get dressed, then two women take way more than 20. More the women, more the number of helping hands available but also more the extra time required. A clear case of too many cooks spoiling the broth.

 3. They would rather be dressed properly for the wedding than be on time for it.

 4. Every woman at the wedding has more clothes as back up for each occasion than all of the groom's clothes put together.

 5. There is no such thing as a multipurpose footwear. Even the sole has to match with something or other, a complex algorithm of matching which is better not understood.

 6. They don't really care about the food at weddings (which is strange considering men would not go to one if not for the food)

 7. They have at least 5 things in their purse which doubles as a mirror.

 I am not complaining at all. I am rather glad that they get dressed and come to weddings. Atleast that makes my time spent at weddings colorful. Its just an observation. I am waiting for the day when the world would not have weddings at all.


vibha said...

i hate wedding with a vengeance too! also looking forward to the time when there will be no weddings at all. rest of your observations are very astute :)

Priya said...

I dont like weddings. I dont like getting dressed for wedding. I dont like being at weddings. Or talking or interacting. I hate any and all parts and aspects of every wedding. I am glad we share the feeling.