Friday, February 25, 2005


I was an engineering student at last. Having worked so hard for my board exams, it was such a great feeling when the hard work had paid off. And entering an under graduate college is such a great feeling. There is that feeling of “nothing can beat you”. But in my case, this feeling was short lived. I cannot believe that I had changed so drastically and that too for a girl.

I was like any other teenager, with the same old problems like pimples and shortage of allowance and two absolutely unreasonable people in life called “parents”. I used to consider the feminine gender as the worthless half of earth, the root cause of all problems and as a metal fanatic, considered pop equivalent to “nursery rhymes” and Ferrari the only car worth my amazing driving skills. I was leading a normal life when out of the blue, this happened.

Like always, I was “chilling out” with the usual “gang” of friends in the canteen when I saw her. She was the most beautiful girl I had seen. Absolutely my type, tall and absolutely gorgeous. She had such beautiful eyes, that she must have stolen millions of hearts like mine [I could go on and on about her other features, but its not nice mentioning about her nose and all that… sounds really weird]. She came in with some of her friends, had a coke or something [ I don’t know exactly cos I could not take my eyes of her eyes] and left, it all took some 5 minutes and this was enough for me to fall for her and those 5 minutes seemed like eternity to me. As she left, she took along with her, my heart….. I had fallen in love with her.[from hear on I will refer to her as “my babe” to make things easier]

Then what followed was absolutely normal, sleepless nights and loss of appetite and direct impact on the internal marks. I had to tell somebody about it and so confessed it to a friend of mine. He happened to give me this amazing advice -to go talk to her and tell her how I felt [ like I hadn’t thought about it] but it seemed an Herculean task to make that journey to my babe and to talk to her. By now it was certain that I couldn’t live without her and I had to do something about it. This is when it stuck to me that if I wanted things to progress, I had got to get in touch to one of her friends. I had heard form one of my friends that to impress a girl, you had to impress her friend first. And this helped me to get to know lots about her. Now I started listening to the corrs and westlife and bryan adams and now even metallica was noise to me. I was totally lost and all I did was to think about my babe all the time, in class, at home, while studying and in everything I did. I had dreamt of us getting married and living together in a small cozy house close to a beach and had gone to an extent of thinking of names for our kids. All this about a girl whom I hadn’t even spoken to. My desperation resulted in her friend setting us up and seeing that we met. She asked me to meet my babe near ******** at 5 in the evening. I was there about 2.45 and had planned a lot for her. I had picked up the greatest bunch of white roses [ white cos I had come to know that she adored white roses] I had seen and I had rehearsed the words I was going to speak to her tonnes of times. But those words weren’t fated to be heard by her. I was never able to speak to her ever. Fate it seems always comes with a sense of irony.

It struck me as if a million spears were trying to stuff their way into my heart. It seemed to be the end of the world for me. Everything has been still for me since then. The last I heard of her was that she had met with an accident on her way to meet me and was killed………… I wish this was not a true story……

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