Sunday, January 15, 2012

of downs and unders

BCCI rejected claims that the busy schedule of the players has anything to do the performance of the team after India lost to the Ozs in another innings defeat - the fourth one in the last seven. After selecting the one day team, Kris Srikanth with a mug of beer in his hand told press persons "The team is a perfect mix of experience and youth. There is no reason why this team should lose. It has nothing to do with the tight schedule of players. It has to do with the format of the game."

Sources inside the BCCI are suggesting that a letter is being drafted by a committee which includes 4% sub quota for people like Manmohan Singh, the mentally backward community. After research by the committee, BCCI is planning to propose the following rule changes in the Test cricket format. They believe that if the game has to survive the following changes have to be made to keep the audience interested:

When India is batting, the bowler is not allowed to bowl over 140 kmph. He will be no-balled on bowling over that speed with a warning, and three warnings and the bowler is not allowed to bowl in that innings. There can be only two slips, one slip and a gully or two gullys. No other fielder is allowed 30 meters from the bat. Catches cannot be caught in two hands. If so that will be declared as 4 runs.

Dravid cannot be out bowled, Laxman cannot be out caught behind and Dhoni and Shewag cannot be out caught anywhere. Next time Tendulkar scores a 50, it should be declared as a 100.

When India is bowling, batsman crossing 100 will be declared out. Scoring three centuries in consecutive matches will result in 2 match ban for the batsman.

There are a couple of other changes revolving around middle fingers and multiple innings for select indian batsmen still under discussion. Though there was no one to confirm of such a letter being drafted out, Team Anna has already decided to come out and fast against this in just BCCI functioning. Arvind Khejriwal has blamed Digvijay Singh for the debacle of the Indian team and Diggy in turn claims to have photographs of Dhoni in RSS colors.

When Tendulkar was asked about the ongoing series and Indies performance, he said "ay la, it is not about records. If I play like the way I am playing, I will get there someday, even if it means in another 3 years. I am not responsible for any of the recent overseas losses because I have never scored a century in any of them. It is only if I score a century that I can be blamed for India losing. I am feeling as fit as I was 20 years ago and am hungry to score more runs."

Yuvraj and Harbhajan were seen on the beaches goa at a New Years party 15 days after new year. When asked how they are coping up with being dropped from the team, bhajji performed a couple of bhangra steps screaming "maa ki, maa ki" and Yuvi swore that Deepika and him were just friends.


Priya R said...

Bloody brilliant piece of writing Teja. LOVE IT!

Archana said...

Ha ha ha,too good! You are talented I say!