Events of 21st december 2006
0900 hours: The alarm in my phone has been ringing for an hour now and i have been snoozing it over and over again. Its as if the alarm is saying "Son of a bitch, get your fuckin ass off the bed and get to work and stop pushing my balls over and over again". I eventually make my mind up and start looking at what i have to do to get to work. Bare minimum is get bath and find clean clothes and leave.
1030 hours: I am already super late to work and am having breakfast with beloved SKI at our own Srinidhi Sagar. Once tomato rice bath, half a coffee. Ski is wearing a white T-Shirt and he spills coffee all over it. And i go HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
1115 house: My first cup of coffee is over. Done with dealing with my emails of yesterday. Pick up my TT racked and am heading towards the TT table. Phone rings. Ski it is.
"Hello" I say
"Teja" he says in a tone which he ususally uses when he is super drunk
"Are you bloody drunk at 11 in the morning? Are you not going to work??"
"I met with an accident"
"What?"
"hummm my leg hurts man... help me"
"Where are you dude, whats wrong??"
"I am at !#%^&&*(&^. Fell of the bike. I am badly hurt"
"Are you bleeding??"
"Ya"
"Lots?"
"I dont know... please come"
"I am leaving now. Just stay where you are. Ill call you"
1145 hours: I get to the spot, to ski sitting on the pavement alone. He is just sitting and his bike is next to him. I go up to him and check him out. He is scratched himself all over, hands, legs everything. His pretty face is unaffected. Thank you govt. of Karnataka for making helmets compulsary. I try to make him stand and he cant move. His leg is pretty fucked. People start gathering around. An auto guy comes and helps ski inside. We head to CMH.
1330 hours: After talking to about 5 doctors, and atleast 25 trips to differnt counters in the hospital, we have finally landed outside the orthopedcian. The x ray is on its way and ski says
"Man, it hurts but the nurses here are ok"
"Shut the fuck up ski, your bloody leg is screwed. They are going to amputate it HA HA HA HA"
"LO aadru... he he he he"
1345 hours: The doctor has examined both the xray and the patient. He calls me inside his chamber, while ski is being treated with some crape bandaid and crape. The doctor shows me the xray and says, "there is a fracture in his knee, and the bone that is affected is called %&^$%& which have ligaments attached to it. A surgery has to be conduted sometime tomorrow." and i am like "aa uh aa ok. Surgery? hummm... can i just go out for a minute." I really needed a smoke. Needed to figure out stuff. Should ski be operated there? I should inform his parents. There should surely be a second opinion on this. Whaat will i tell ski What will i tell his parents. Who will i tell anything. God!!!
1415 hours: I am trying real hard to contact skis parents. They are not reachable anywhere. I have gone out and made a dozen phonecalls to lots of people trying to organise things. I have decided that i have to get ski to mysore. Still have not contacted his parents. Totu is on his way down. Finally some one to share the decision making. I go down to inform the doctor this decision. There i come accross ski and a nurse having a small argument of sorts. I find out what it was and this is what i heard. The nurse has to crape his knee and she thinks she has to cut his trouser for that. Ski says its a new trouser, which he bought(or was bought) just yesterday and hence he wont allow that to happen. Guys, grow up and do something about it. Damn the trouser ski, let it go is what i thought.
1600 hours: We are in a qualis. Man the car is amazing. Ski is sitting behind, his leg fully bandaged. Me and totu are sitting in front. Ski is enjoying his "Fruit and Nut" which was bought for him at the Shell Fuel station. Me and totu enjoying our lays and pepsi. We are on our way to mysore. A ha!!! Mysore, here we come
1930 hours: Appolo hospital mysore. One more round of xrays and stuff. Doc says no surgery as yet. Cast for 4 weeks. Delux room for ski with all the pretty nurses he always fantasises about.
2400 hours: Me and totu on our way back to bangalore. Arya playing in the in car LCD screen. I am pretty stoned because of the hard days work. UFFFFF !!!!!
0900 hours the next day: The alarm in my phone has been ringing for an hour now and i have been snoozing it over and over again. Its as if the alarm is saying "Son of a bitch, get your fuckin ass off the bed and get to work and stop pushing my balls over and over again". I eventually make my mind up and start looking at what i have to do to get to work. Bare minimum is get bath and find clean clothes and leave.
I pick up my wallet to go for a cup of early morning Tea, and... and....
MY ATM CARD IS MISSING!!!!! I left it in the ATM yesterday!!!!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
ahem ahem AMEN!!!!
Another good morning in my life. Week day. Have to get up, go for a walk in the cold decembber winter to grap a cup of coffee, come back, take turns with ski to take control of the bathroom to do the daily duties, find clothes to wear and hit the road to dodge traffic and get to work. This is how most of my week day mornings are... and thats how today was... well almost....
I had won the battle and had got an unopposed control over the bathroom. So i am done with my bath and i am walking around in the house after a nice hot bath with just a towel in my house when i hear a knock on the door. Thats the most uncommon thing that could happen at the place i stay. I go and open the door to see 2 people, in their early 50s, dressed in proper formals with tie and all that jazz. Thts the second most uncommon thing that has happened today. The average age of a person who enters my house is 24.
I am kind taken aback, excuse myself, go inside, get into the first track and T i find and went out there to face them. All this while, whats running in my head is, Oh god what have i done... which neighbour is it who has come to complain.... or did some one mess around with some one and i have become a victim of mistaken identity... or.... and things like that. I go out and he shakes my hand and then what followed was one of the wierdest conversations i have had with such an old man at that time of the day with an unintoxicated body...
He: Hi my name is ******.
Me: Hello Sir, I am Tejas
He: We are from a group called ********. We are here to spread the word of justice. Do you think the justice we are as people are getting is right?
Me: Sorry... What do you mean (What the hell is this guy talkin suddenly on something strange)
He: Say for example, does it make sense that the recent Jasica Lal case. Do you think that is fair? Do you think that is justice? Should that guy have not been behind bars much much earlier. The justice system is not right. So our group are out there trying to spread awareness about this justice system. What do you think sir, do you think the justice we are having is right?
Me: I dont know. I think its alright. Actually it does not make any sense that someone is going behind bars years after committing a crime. And i am thinking, dude let me go... i still have to get dressed and get to work... i am already freaking late...
He: Now think about Hitlor and such people who have done so much to destroy mankind. These kind of ...
Me: Hitler? So what, he was a dictator. He has done so much good for the society. How can someone just say that he as done bad and make him a anagonist. What about what all he has done for humanity
He: Well what i am saying is that such people have no right to destroy the creation of god.
Me: WOH!!! WOH!!! Where did God come into all this? Boss, i know where this is going... not the right way to start a morning... All this is nice to talk when i am high on a couple of drinks... Not a way to start of a long day ahead. GOD!!!! This was some freak who was spreading christanity. Today will be one hell of a day!!!
At this point he fishes out a book from his bag. Just as i had guessed, it was the holy bible. He flips to some page and reads out something for me. I could hear the word justice in what he read. Thats all that there was to it.
He: God says that justice should be this and justice should be that and like this and like that(I really dont remember what exactly he said but it was something on those lines).
Me: Where did god come into this? What do you mean when you say god?
He: Ok let me make one thing clear. Do you beleive in god?
Me: No
He: NO???
Me: no.
He: Dont you beleive that there is some one controlling something everything that is happening?
Me: Why should i beleive that? Is'nt that wrong? That you are letting something unknown control you. Giving the credit of creation to some unknown thing.
He: Actually science ends at some point of time. Most scientists beleive that one point their explaination ends and from then something else takes over. The all beleive that there is God, in what ever form it is. There are rules for everything, like say the atoms or electrons or nuclear physics or everything. Infact the human brain, which is like the most complicated creation existing. The complex rules that take place in its funcioning are all creations of god. Dont you think so?
Me: Just because the explaination has not come, does not mean you blame it on God.
He: Blame it on god?? (laughs) I have never heard anyone say that. (At this point he takes out a book out of his bag. The title reads "Who is the Creator?") I have a little something for you. Its a book that i think you should read. It will probabally put some right sense into your head.
Me: Book? This is going to make me beleive in god is it? There are hundreds of books which talk about god in all its forms. Infact i have on right here(and i find "The tao of physics") which has a different view of life et all. May be you should read this.
He: Humm this is interesting. May be ill buy myself a copy of this book. But i think you should come to one of our meetings. Or may be you and i can meet in person and i will convince you into the existance of god.
Me: He he he given the time, ill probabally convince you into thinking that you are wrong and that actually god does not exist. For me to probabally to beleive in what you are saying, it needs a miracle or something
He: Humm that would be interesting. I have never gotten to talk to someone who has made me feel this way. But still, if you ever change your mind, and if a miracle does happen, you can always come to me and ill show you the way to reach god
Me: I doubt that will happen. And just in case you would want a different way to look at life, you know where i stay. Drop in anytime.
He: Thanks so much for your time Tejas. It was really nice talking to you.
Me: I hope i didnt ruin your day.
I closed the door, rushed inside to find myself a clean pair of trousers and shirt and ripped my way to office. What a strange begining to the day
I had won the battle and had got an unopposed control over the bathroom. So i am done with my bath and i am walking around in the house after a nice hot bath with just a towel in my house when i hear a knock on the door. Thats the most uncommon thing that could happen at the place i stay. I go and open the door to see 2 people, in their early 50s, dressed in proper formals with tie and all that jazz. Thts the second most uncommon thing that has happened today. The average age of a person who enters my house is 24.
I am kind taken aback, excuse myself, go inside, get into the first track and T i find and went out there to face them. All this while, whats running in my head is, Oh god what have i done... which neighbour is it who has come to complain.... or did some one mess around with some one and i have become a victim of mistaken identity... or.... and things like that. I go out and he shakes my hand and then what followed was one of the wierdest conversations i have had with such an old man at that time of the day with an unintoxicated body...
He: Hi my name is ******.
Me: Hello Sir, I am Tejas
He: We are from a group called ********. We are here to spread the word of justice. Do you think the justice we are as people are getting is right?
Me: Sorry... What do you mean (What the hell is this guy talkin suddenly on something strange)
He: Say for example, does it make sense that the recent Jasica Lal case. Do you think that is fair? Do you think that is justice? Should that guy have not been behind bars much much earlier. The justice system is not right. So our group are out there trying to spread awareness about this justice system. What do you think sir, do you think the justice we are having is right?
Me: I dont know. I think its alright. Actually it does not make any sense that someone is going behind bars years after committing a crime. And i am thinking, dude let me go... i still have to get dressed and get to work... i am already freaking late...
He: Now think about Hitlor and such people who have done so much to destroy mankind. These kind of ...
Me: Hitler? So what, he was a dictator. He has done so much good for the society. How can someone just say that he as done bad and make him a anagonist. What about what all he has done for humanity
He: Well what i am saying is that such people have no right to destroy the creation of god.
Me: WOH!!! WOH!!! Where did God come into all this? Boss, i know where this is going... not the right way to start a morning... All this is nice to talk when i am high on a couple of drinks... Not a way to start of a long day ahead. GOD!!!! This was some freak who was spreading christanity. Today will be one hell of a day!!!
At this point he fishes out a book from his bag. Just as i had guessed, it was the holy bible. He flips to some page and reads out something for me. I could hear the word justice in what he read. Thats all that there was to it.
He: God says that justice should be this and justice should be that and like this and like that(I really dont remember what exactly he said but it was something on those lines).
Me: Where did god come into this? What do you mean when you say god?
He: Ok let me make one thing clear. Do you beleive in god?
Me: No
He: NO???
Me: no.
He: Dont you beleive that there is some one controlling something everything that is happening?
Me: Why should i beleive that? Is'nt that wrong? That you are letting something unknown control you. Giving the credit of creation to some unknown thing.
He: Actually science ends at some point of time. Most scientists beleive that one point their explaination ends and from then something else takes over. The all beleive that there is God, in what ever form it is. There are rules for everything, like say the atoms or electrons or nuclear physics or everything. Infact the human brain, which is like the most complicated creation existing. The complex rules that take place in its funcioning are all creations of god. Dont you think so?
Me: Just because the explaination has not come, does not mean you blame it on God.
He: Blame it on god?? (laughs) I have never heard anyone say that. (At this point he takes out a book out of his bag. The title reads "Who is the Creator?") I have a little something for you. Its a book that i think you should read. It will probabally put some right sense into your head.
Me: Book? This is going to make me beleive in god is it? There are hundreds of books which talk about god in all its forms. Infact i have on right here(and i find "The tao of physics") which has a different view of life et all. May be you should read this.
He: Humm this is interesting. May be ill buy myself a copy of this book. But i think you should come to one of our meetings. Or may be you and i can meet in person and i will convince you into the existance of god.
Me: He he he given the time, ill probabally convince you into thinking that you are wrong and that actually god does not exist. For me to probabally to beleive in what you are saying, it needs a miracle or something
He: Humm that would be interesting. I have never gotten to talk to someone who has made me feel this way. But still, if you ever change your mind, and if a miracle does happen, you can always come to me and ill show you the way to reach god
Me: I doubt that will happen. And just in case you would want a different way to look at life, you know where i stay. Drop in anytime.
He: Thanks so much for your time Tejas. It was really nice talking to you.
Me: I hope i didnt ruin your day.
I closed the door, rushed inside to find myself a clean pair of trousers and shirt and ripped my way to office. What a strange begining to the day
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Hello!!! Anybody there???
The mobile phone has become the single most insaparable thing in my life and i am sure it is the same with most if not all others existing in the world today (and when i say world, i mean the people interact with every day, so who would socially fit into my circle of friends or acquaintances). "SMS" or "text" have become the preferred and the ideal mode of communication these days.
Apart from communication ofcourse, there is also messages exchanged on the phone which usually dont mean anything but are just passed around for entertainment purposes. We call them the FWDs.... just like the attachments and forwards that are jamming up the mail servers all around the world(again the referance is the same world i was talking about previously)
These are some of the messsages that i have come accross in my life with my mobile phone. Some are forwards and some are just messages which either I sent or people sent it to me.... I just thought i would make an archive of the most interesting ones. Ill keep updating this as and when i can and something interesting comes up.
* $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ *
$-$ Your mind thinks so fast that the physical action to be performed will become very slow. It is a kind of amnesia. You wont remember what you were supposed to do. It feels like you are lost. since the mind thinks fast, you feel that the hands of the clock have lost its energies.Even they are lazy. God made grass. Respect the creation, praise the creator. I feel like god.
$-$ Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of alcohol
$-$ Life's dissappointments are harder to take when you dont know the swear words - Calvin and Hobbes
$-$ Help a girl in trouble and she will always help you when she is in trouble again
$-$ I know you are asleep and even if you are awake, you wont reply. Anyway, you should choose me because I know how life is with you and how life is after loosing you and I can never think of loosing you again. Too bad that anyone else would never get to know what it is without you. I love you
$-$ I smoke away my glory days... luking at old things in newer ways... speakin to my friend who isnt really there..i dont sniff inregret... but it helps to forget... the secrets ive kept inside, never shared... i trip i slide n even glide thro the drownin lectures and chaotic nights...with my friend always beside... whenever i fall down in dispair... he lifets me up... and points towards my grave...the devil whispers, as i stare... we re almost there buddy... we are almost there
$-$ Why is that feeling what the questions talk of is considered wrong? Isn't it a matter of choice... choice of if you want to feel dominant and right or you dont care if you are right or if the world thinks you are submissive... Whats so wrong with feeling lost for a while? If you want to have a real feel of happiness, dont you think its important to have a real feel of sorrow? Can you live life with total contentment? Aren't we here to simply live life?
$-$ Betta... Beer.. 2 Pint... Lo sweetheart senti good NIGHT msg kalsidlu. Ond thara touch aaayithu... Nanu Ond reverse senti kalusbitte. He he... u and mama there?
$-$ There are two great days in a person's life - The day we are born and the day we discover why
$-$ If I love myself despite my infinite faults, how can i hate anyone at the glimpse of a few faults?
$-$ Never take life seriously... Nobody gets out alive anyway
$-$
Mahesh prasad HOTELna masale dose,
SJCE canteen na khali dose,
Guru Sweets na mysore paku,
ksrtc stop na egg riceu,
dental college na pani puri,
aishwarya restaurantna kulcha kaju masala,
RMC du khara mandakki mirchi,
vani gotrada masala tea,
Bopys na chilled draugth beer,
GP's na old monk cokeu,
Idu "Mysore" na taste - bere yellu sigalla...
Proud to be a mysorian
$-$ Cheers man!!!
$-$ If life throws lemons at you, dont make lemonade.... Think out of the box - Ask for taquila and salt
$-$ And thus the sun has set on Teja's empire
$-$ Hoskote se consignment aa raha hain ;)
$-$ I pray to the god that any person who tries 2 screw your happiness, may his ass begin to itch and his hand grom shorter that he cannot reach his ass to scratch it ;)
$-$ thu baddetava, hudgiru andre maiyella *****, avalu 1 msg kalsangilla, nigrskondu 10 kalsteira, navilli thika harkond msg madidru ond msg illa, nim janmakke
$-$ Maga i am very sad... As i am out from the college... So please buy me a full old monk for the last time... So that i can forget this side moment... Ill be waiting for your call or your message... And i am ready to come and pick up the bottle anywhere.... :) and ill be waiting
Apart from communication ofcourse, there is also messages exchanged on the phone which usually dont mean anything but are just passed around for entertainment purposes. We call them the FWDs.... just like the attachments and forwards that are jamming up the mail servers all around the world(again the referance is the same world i was talking about previously)
These are some of the messsages that i have come accross in my life with my mobile phone. Some are forwards and some are just messages which either I sent or people sent it to me.... I just thought i would make an archive of the most interesting ones. Ill keep updating this as and when i can and something interesting comes up.
* $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ *
$-$ Your mind thinks so fast that the physical action to be performed will become very slow. It is a kind of amnesia. You wont remember what you were supposed to do. It feels like you are lost. since the mind thinks fast, you feel that the hands of the clock have lost its energies.Even they are lazy. God made grass. Respect the creation, praise the creator. I feel like god.
$-$ Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of alcohol
$-$ Life's dissappointments are harder to take when you dont know the swear words - Calvin and Hobbes
$-$ Help a girl in trouble and she will always help you when she is in trouble again
$-$ I know you are asleep and even if you are awake, you wont reply. Anyway, you should choose me because I know how life is with you and how life is after loosing you and I can never think of loosing you again. Too bad that anyone else would never get to know what it is without you. I love you
$-$ I smoke away my glory days... luking at old things in newer ways... speakin to my friend who isnt really there..i dont sniff inregret... but it helps to forget... the secrets ive kept inside, never shared... i trip i slide n even glide thro the drownin lectures and chaotic nights...with my friend always beside... whenever i fall down in dispair... he lifets me up... and points towards my grave...the devil whispers, as i stare... we re almost there buddy... we are almost there
$-$ Why is that feeling what the questions talk of is considered wrong? Isn't it a matter of choice... choice of if you want to feel dominant and right or you dont care if you are right or if the world thinks you are submissive... Whats so wrong with feeling lost for a while? If you want to have a real feel of happiness, dont you think its important to have a real feel of sorrow? Can you live life with total contentment? Aren't we here to simply live life?
$-$ Betta... Beer.. 2 Pint... Lo sweetheart senti good NIGHT msg kalsidlu. Ond thara touch aaayithu... Nanu Ond reverse senti kalusbitte. He he... u and mama there?
$-$ There are two great days in a person's life - The day we are born and the day we discover why
$-$ If I love myself despite my infinite faults, how can i hate anyone at the glimpse of a few faults?
$-$ Never take life seriously... Nobody gets out alive anyway
$-$
Mahesh prasad HOTELna masale dose,
SJCE canteen na khali dose,
Guru Sweets na mysore paku,
ksrtc stop na egg riceu,
dental college na pani puri,
aishwarya restaurantna kulcha kaju masala,
RMC du khara mandakki mirchi,
vani gotrada masala tea,
Bopys na chilled draugth beer,
GP's na old monk cokeu,
Idu "Mysore" na taste - bere yellu sigalla...
Proud to be a mysorian
$-$ Cheers man!!!
$-$ If life throws lemons at you, dont make lemonade.... Think out of the box - Ask for taquila and salt
$-$ And thus the sun has set on Teja's empire
$-$ Hoskote se consignment aa raha hain ;)
$-$ I pray to the god that any person who tries 2 screw your happiness, may his ass begin to itch and his hand grom shorter that he cannot reach his ass to scratch it ;)
$-$ thu baddetava, hudgiru andre maiyella *****, avalu 1 msg kalsangilla, nigrskondu 10 kalsteira, navilli thika harkond msg madidru ond msg illa, nim janmakke
$-$ Maga i am very sad... As i am out from the college... So please buy me a full old monk for the last time... So that i can forget this side moment... Ill be waiting for your call or your message... And i am ready to come and pick up the bottle anywhere.... :) and ill be waiting
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Smoke on the Water... Fire in the skies
I wake up in the morning... after a long night.... Sleeply i walk out of my room to find the book "Company of women" with a pizza hut paper napkin used as a book mark. On the napkin, this is what i see...
DONT WAKE ME UP Teja. I'll get up before 1pm. Lock da door n let Kashi have da key & let him only open it for me bt 1. U might get a call from 98862*****. jus ignore. N now i me myself n machi going for last joint venture . . . .
C.U ......
- 4:53 am 9 oct 2006
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AFTERMATH:
Naanu yake bande illigeg?? Yake dope hodedae. .
Why Chit ! ?
- 5:15 am 9 oct 2006
i'm on star trip. Hope i'll see Jessica, Yasmeen, Sonu .,
MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE BUDDY!!!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Bengalooruuuuu Ready NAAAAA
METER - guts.
usage: aa chatri shyamange yen metero maga.... principal roomalle pataki hachchidda!
CHOD / OLU / RAILU - big lie or a compulsive lier
usage: nan hatra ne chod beda / olu bid beda / raila
GUNNA - punch.
usage: avangond gunna kottu alle flat maadbido maga
KIRICK PALTY - dangerous/stupid person. It depends on the scenario you use it. It can be a compliment or sarcastic.
usage: A lecturer bejan kirik palty maga
F(PH)IGURE / PIECE / HAKKI / BOMB / CHINDI FIGAR - a beautiful girl
usage: Maga, bus nalli sakkat phigure ittu maga...
SCRAP - Opposite of phigure
YAKKA MAKKA - deadly(adjective)
usage: A ragi ge police inda yakka makka vodhe bittu
HAP / GULDU / GOOBE - Idiot
usage: nin thara guldu nan magan na node illa
CHAMCHA / SISSIYA - Subordinate
usage: duddu iskonnakke a maheshan chamcha bandidda
GURU / BHAI - opposite of chamcha
KALAKAAR - Talented (especially with girls)
usage: a totu bhayanaka kalakar na maga guru
SINKU / PORT / EPHASE - to escape from the scene of crime (what ever the crime may be)
usage: sadhya! time ge sikn ade maga naanu
GUNDU / THEERTHA / YENNE - alcohol
usage: friday night yenne party na??
PORKI - lofar
usage: adi bari porki nan maga kano.
AASTI - Female assets
usage: yeno aasthi it idale a phigureu
SAKKAT / BOMBAAT - Amazing
usage: modve mane alli bitti oota sakkat agi ittu maga
KIRIK - problematic situation
usage: maga, police mama heavy kirik maadta idane
NAMM AREA - to denote a geographic location of control: usually used with kirik
usage: guru a koli manja namm area ge bandu kirik maadta idane
ADDA - hang out
usage: maga, adda dalli sigteeni
SKETCH HAAKU - plan: used in the situation of KIRIK
usage: guru, a koli manja nin mele sketch haakta idane
CHITRANNA - lemon rice bath, but used along with CHINDI to mean disaster
usage: a accident alli nan car chindi chitranna aytu
KALACHKO - Go away
usage: sumne nin kelsa nodkondu kalachko
SET-UP / STEPNI / SETTING / PETROMAX - a person you are having an extra marritial affair with
usage: a minister ge 12 stepni galu maga
KANTRI - A person with a cruel mind
usage: Aathara kantri baddi maganna nodilla
BADDI - interest ( as in on a loan) but used for a person.
usage: See kantri
BISCUIT - cheat / use for personal interest
usage: ee hudgeer kathe ne istu.. bari biscuit hakodu
HEAT / CHOOL - Sexual urge
usage: yeno heat alli idane avanu.. hhayanaka choolu avange
PATAAISU - To make some one fall for you
usage: maga, avalanna pataaisyodu sakkat kasta
OC - Free
usage: Modve ge hogona maga, oc oota sigatte
GURRAISU - Stare(has two usages, one to stare at a girl/boy cheaply, other to stare at a person with anger/enemity)
usage: nodu maga, aval nanna gurraista idale
DIJANG - Yella Mix up aagirodhu antha Artha ..
usage: : Yen DIJANG Shirt Sisya adu ..
BAGAL BLAST - Kitthogirodhu or Beating black n blue(body repair kelsa) ..
usage: Sisya mobile BAGAL BLAST aagbittide, Sisya BAGAL BLAST Figure kano adu ..
AAYKO - Something bad happenin, or accident..
usage: Yen maga gaadi ang odisthya .. yavatthara AAYKOnteeya noodu
Here are some bad words used at the heat of the moment:
Usage is not required... they can fit into any sentence... and they need not be used to mean what they mean
GAANDU - an impotent person
AMMAN: (short for "Nim amman na keya") - i will fuck your mother
AKKAN: (short for "Nim akkan na keya") - i will fuck your sister
NIM HENDRU (Short for "nim hendru na keya") - i will fuck your wife
SHATA : Pubic hair
CHINGREE - Hair in the arm pits
AYYAN - beleive it or not, i ill fuck your dad
SULE MAGANE - son of a prostitute
BAVERSI - Basturd
usage: aa chatri shyamange yen metero maga.... principal roomalle pataki hachchidda!
CHOD / OLU / RAILU - big lie or a compulsive lier
usage: nan hatra ne chod beda / olu bid beda / raila
GUNNA - punch.
usage: avangond gunna kottu alle flat maadbido maga
KIRICK PALTY - dangerous/stupid person. It depends on the scenario you use it. It can be a compliment or sarcastic.
usage: A lecturer bejan kirik palty maga
F(PH)IGURE / PIECE / HAKKI / BOMB / CHINDI FIGAR - a beautiful girl
usage: Maga, bus nalli sakkat phigure ittu maga...
SCRAP - Opposite of phigure
YAKKA MAKKA - deadly(adjective)
usage: A ragi ge police inda yakka makka vodhe bittu
HAP / GULDU / GOOBE - Idiot
usage: nin thara guldu nan magan na node illa
CHAMCHA / SISSIYA - Subordinate
usage: duddu iskonnakke a maheshan chamcha bandidda
GURU / BHAI - opposite of chamcha
KALAKAAR - Talented (especially with girls)
usage: a totu bhayanaka kalakar na maga guru
SINKU / PORT / EPHASE - to escape from the scene of crime (what ever the crime may be)
usage: sadhya! time ge sikn ade maga naanu
GUNDU / THEERTHA / YENNE - alcohol
usage: friday night yenne party na??
PORKI - lofar
usage: adi bari porki nan maga kano.
AASTI - Female assets
usage: yeno aasthi it idale a phigureu
SAKKAT / BOMBAAT - Amazing
usage: modve mane alli bitti oota sakkat agi ittu maga
KIRIK - problematic situation
usage: maga, police mama heavy kirik maadta idane
NAMM AREA - to denote a geographic location of control: usually used with kirik
usage: guru a koli manja namm area ge bandu kirik maadta idane
ADDA - hang out
usage: maga, adda dalli sigteeni
SKETCH HAAKU - plan: used in the situation of KIRIK
usage: guru, a koli manja nin mele sketch haakta idane
CHITRANNA - lemon rice bath, but used along with CHINDI to mean disaster
usage: a accident alli nan car chindi chitranna aytu
KALACHKO - Go away
usage: sumne nin kelsa nodkondu kalachko
SET-UP / STEPNI / SETTING / PETROMAX - a person you are having an extra marritial affair with
usage: a minister ge 12 stepni galu maga
KANTRI - A person with a cruel mind
usage: Aathara kantri baddi maganna nodilla
BADDI - interest ( as in on a loan) but used for a person.
usage: See kantri
BISCUIT - cheat / use for personal interest
usage: ee hudgeer kathe ne istu.. bari biscuit hakodu
HEAT / CHOOL - Sexual urge
usage: yeno heat alli idane avanu.. hhayanaka choolu avange
PATAAISU - To make some one fall for you
usage: maga, avalanna pataaisyodu sakkat kasta
OC - Free
usage: Modve ge hogona maga, oc oota sigatte
GURRAISU - Stare(has two usages, one to stare at a girl/boy cheaply, other to stare at a person with anger/enemity)
usage: nodu maga, aval nanna gurraista idale
DIJANG - Yella Mix up aagirodhu antha Artha ..
usage: : Yen DIJANG Shirt Sisya adu ..
BAGAL BLAST - Kitthogirodhu or Beating black n blue(body repair kelsa) ..
usage: Sisya mobile BAGAL BLAST aagbittide, Sisya BAGAL BLAST Figure kano adu ..
AAYKO - Something bad happenin, or accident..
usage: Yen maga gaadi ang odisthya .. yavatthara AAYKOnteeya noodu
Here are some bad words used at the heat of the moment:
Usage is not required... they can fit into any sentence... and they need not be used to mean what they mean
GAANDU - an impotent person
AMMAN: (short for "Nim amman na keya") - i will fuck your mother
AKKAN: (short for "Nim akkan na keya") - i will fuck your sister
NIM HENDRU (Short for "nim hendru na keya") - i will fuck your wife
SHATA : Pubic hair
CHINGREE - Hair in the arm pits
AYYAN - beleive it or not, i ill fuck your dad
SULE MAGANE - son of a prostitute
BAVERSI - Basturd
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Whole Lot of CRAP!!!
Shopping malls have always fascinated me. Its a new inclusion in my life, a very recent one. But a shopping mall is a fascinating place. I like it most because of the whole load of people i get to watch there but that are a different story all together. I am sitting like an owl at 3 AM in the night not to talk about people. I find it more amusing that i talk about shit. Thats right, shit... crap... excreta
One of the interesting things about the malls i like are the loos or to put it in better terms, the rest rooms. But since i am talking about shits anyway, i might as well use all the unethical words. So i prefer to use the work loo. Believe you me, i have visited a lot of malls, at least my share of them, and have always made it a point to visit the loo in every mall i have ever set foot in. I don't know, probably its god or who ever always without fail creates pressure in my bowells every time i get into a hip, posh place. And i dont even need to smoke the regular cigarette to create the required Temperature / Volume (For the ones who have forgotten, remember the universal gas equation?(if you still cant get it, it is PV = nRT(where P is pressure, V is volume, n is some constant which is 1 for vacuum i guess, R is some other constant and T is temperature))) (note that i have used parenthesis to perfection... Helps if you are a coder... Bloody compilers, always complaining about the missing braces)
Anyway back to the loos... I really like it in one of them in the posh malls i was talking about. They are clean for starters. And catching on the western trend, they are all western style lavatories which makes my time out to myself more pleasurable. The Indian ones suck i tell you, i mean not literally, but in general they really suck. At the end of those important 5 mins, i usually have numb legs and start walking funny. So, the pressure created in one of the malls is always nice cos i can actually sit in the loo for like 10 - 15 mins knowing confidently that at the end of it, i wont have numb legs.
The western trend is really catching on i tell you. The loos are so amazing. Things like automatic hand driers automatic flushes which flush the pee collectors ( I dont know what they call them but for the ladies who have not seen them, its really cool. They are like buckets which come in differnt shapes ok. Just think of them as porcelain bucket like things in which a man stands and takes a leak. Thats not what is cool. What is cool is that as soon as a man does his thing, the bloody thing flushes by itself. Amazing aint it. I wonder how that works. Actually there is something right above the bucket thing which looks like a hidden camera or something. I think that is responsible for the automation. The wash basins are cool too. You don't even have to do anything. Just put your hand there and water flows by itself. I have observed something else these days. There is this thing, a small box like thing that sprays perfume ever few mins. I guess it senses the smell of the room, and probably when it reaches a threshold, it does its job.
The loos are amazing too. There are hand held faucets and all that. Its an amazing shitting experience i tell you. The western influence comes into picture again. There are paper towels and all that. As an Indian i dont see much use of them, but anyway they are there. It enhances the looks. And thank god for them also, cos they saved my face (arse actually) one day.
I was in this mall one night, just after a heavy dinner to watch a bollywood blockbuster. I get into this mall and am taking the escalator and viola; there is turbulance in my bowells. I start looking out for one of those signs which guide us to the loo. And i find one. Get into one of the empty cabins and get to work. 15 mins later, i am done with what ever i had to do. I look for one of those faucets thing, and to my horror, its not there. Then i begin to think, may be this one is state of the art and all that, and look for other sources of water. Nothing!!! Then i think, may be there is that hidden cam thing somewhere and may be it would spray water once it realizes that i am done. None of that happened too. I am doomed i begin to think. I must have got a hundred calls from my friends waiting outside, waiting for me to at least give them the movie tickets that i had safely tucked in my wallet. So what happens next??? Paper towels to the rescue. I did it. Finally. I took paper towels and wiped my arse. Ya i know it sounds disgusting but believe you me, its not as bad as it sounds. Come on, in the opposite side of the globe, each and every one of them is doing that every day of their shitting careers. So it cant be that bad. But it is a funny experience. Nothing like water though. If you dont believe me, try it out yourself. Its cool.... and dry :-)
One of the interesting things about the malls i like are the loos or to put it in better terms, the rest rooms. But since i am talking about shits anyway, i might as well use all the unethical words. So i prefer to use the work loo. Believe you me, i have visited a lot of malls, at least my share of them, and have always made it a point to visit the loo in every mall i have ever set foot in. I don't know, probably its god or who ever always without fail creates pressure in my bowells every time i get into a hip, posh place. And i dont even need to smoke the regular cigarette to create the required Temperature / Volume (For the ones who have forgotten, remember the universal gas equation?(if you still cant get it, it is PV = nRT(where P is pressure, V is volume, n is some constant which is 1 for vacuum i guess, R is some other constant and T is temperature))) (note that i have used parenthesis to perfection... Helps if you are a coder... Bloody compilers, always complaining about the missing braces)
Anyway back to the loos... I really like it in one of them in the posh malls i was talking about. They are clean for starters. And catching on the western trend, they are all western style lavatories which makes my time out to myself more pleasurable. The Indian ones suck i tell you, i mean not literally, but in general they really suck. At the end of those important 5 mins, i usually have numb legs and start walking funny. So, the pressure created in one of the malls is always nice cos i can actually sit in the loo for like 10 - 15 mins knowing confidently that at the end of it, i wont have numb legs.
The western trend is really catching on i tell you. The loos are so amazing. Things like automatic hand driers automatic flushes which flush the pee collectors ( I dont know what they call them but for the ladies who have not seen them, its really cool. They are like buckets which come in differnt shapes ok. Just think of them as porcelain bucket like things in which a man stands and takes a leak. Thats not what is cool. What is cool is that as soon as a man does his thing, the bloody thing flushes by itself. Amazing aint it. I wonder how that works. Actually there is something right above the bucket thing which looks like a hidden camera or something. I think that is responsible for the automation. The wash basins are cool too. You don't even have to do anything. Just put your hand there and water flows by itself. I have observed something else these days. There is this thing, a small box like thing that sprays perfume ever few mins. I guess it senses the smell of the room, and probably when it reaches a threshold, it does its job.
The loos are amazing too. There are hand held faucets and all that. Its an amazing shitting experience i tell you. The western influence comes into picture again. There are paper towels and all that. As an Indian i dont see much use of them, but anyway they are there. It enhances the looks. And thank god for them also, cos they saved my face (arse actually) one day.
I was in this mall one night, just after a heavy dinner to watch a bollywood blockbuster. I get into this mall and am taking the escalator and viola; there is turbulance in my bowells. I start looking out for one of those signs which guide us to the loo. And i find one. Get into one of the empty cabins and get to work. 15 mins later, i am done with what ever i had to do. I look for one of those faucets thing, and to my horror, its not there. Then i begin to think, may be this one is state of the art and all that, and look for other sources of water. Nothing!!! Then i think, may be there is that hidden cam thing somewhere and may be it would spray water once it realizes that i am done. None of that happened too. I am doomed i begin to think. I must have got a hundred calls from my friends waiting outside, waiting for me to at least give them the movie tickets that i had safely tucked in my wallet. So what happens next??? Paper towels to the rescue. I did it. Finally. I took paper towels and wiped my arse. Ya i know it sounds disgusting but believe you me, its not as bad as it sounds. Come on, in the opposite side of the globe, each and every one of them is doing that every day of their shitting careers. So it cant be that bad. But it is a funny experience. Nothing like water though. If you dont believe me, try it out yourself. Its cool.... and dry :-)
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Pyar hame kis mode pe le aya
What makes a movie so interesting? Any movie for that matter? What makes hundreds of thousands of people spend their hard earned money to sit and watch a movie be it in a theater or on pirated CD's. (By the way i am completely pro piracy. Nothing wrong in it i think. Have my reasons but that is a whole different blog material)
I happened to watch a movie yesterday night; and it made me think. Can you beleive it.. THINK!!! It was not the first time i watched a movie or its not the first time a movie has made me think. But this particular one made me think differently and hence this over flow of shit. ( I would say ideas or thoughts, but having started writing now, i feel that at the end of it, the whole writeup will not make any sense and hence prefer to call it shit)
Anyway firstly about the movie, the one i watched is called "My Autograph". Staring Sudeep (who is incidently the director of the movie as well ) whome i am a diehard fan (well, i am a diehard fan of lot of wierd people...) of and Meena and a few others who are not that important. I hear that this is a remake of a tamil movie and some claim that, that version is much much better but since i had not seen that version, it really didnt matter.
In the movie, the hero is shown to grow from a teenager to the time he gets married. During this phase, he is shown to be in love with 3 girls and the love stories end up sour. He is finally getting married to one other chick and he goes to invite all his pervious "loves" (or to sound more local, "lovers" or "doves" and since i like being local, i will use "lovers" henceforth) for the wedding. Its not that he does not love them anymore but the situation demands that he moves on with his life and get married to some other chick. (Man this character is funny... her first and only dialogue in the movie is "Nimdu love failure a? matte yake gadda shave madilla" meaning "Are you a failure in your love life? Then why haven't you shaved on your wedding day)
Well, i liked the movie cos i could relate to it very well. The hero goes to kerala, which i did. It was almost like being right there in the hero's shoes. Well thats what attracts us right. The whole point of a movie is that. The only way for them (as in the movie makers) to attract attention is to make a hero out of each and every one watching the movie. Make them feel the same emotions the hero is feeling, make the audience take the same decissions the hero takes. And i liked this so much cos i could relate to it very well.
One more thing that made me think is, the concept of love. Russel Peters in one of his comedy shows says, he does not want to married because he loves women too much; and if he gets married, then he will have to love woman, not women. Big difference right. Anyway in the end of the movie under consideration, all his former "lovers" are present at the scene. They come over and wish him for his step into new life. There is a wierd eye contact with each one of them as they are leaving, and we dont have a choice but to assume that he still loves them and they still love him but then thats life and they walk away.
So what is wrong in being in love with more than one person. Why not? This one thing that is a taboo, being in love with more than one person. And by this i dont mean the fatherly or motherly or sisterly love people talk about. (Talking about sisterly love, my god!! girls say this very nicely, "I looked at you like my brother" - That is sisterly love for you) Why cant a person love more than one person of the opposite sex, and still be accepted in the society? What is wrong with it? Why not?
I happened to watch a movie yesterday night; and it made me think. Can you beleive it.. THINK!!! It was not the first time i watched a movie or its not the first time a movie has made me think. But this particular one made me think differently and hence this over flow of shit. ( I would say ideas or thoughts, but having started writing now, i feel that at the end of it, the whole writeup will not make any sense and hence prefer to call it shit)
Anyway firstly about the movie, the one i watched is called "My Autograph". Staring Sudeep (who is incidently the director of the movie as well ) whome i am a diehard fan (well, i am a diehard fan of lot of wierd people...) of and Meena and a few others who are not that important. I hear that this is a remake of a tamil movie and some claim that, that version is much much better but since i had not seen that version, it really didnt matter.
In the movie, the hero is shown to grow from a teenager to the time he gets married. During this phase, he is shown to be in love with 3 girls and the love stories end up sour. He is finally getting married to one other chick and he goes to invite all his pervious "loves" (or to sound more local, "lovers" or "doves" and since i like being local, i will use "lovers" henceforth) for the wedding. Its not that he does not love them anymore but the situation demands that he moves on with his life and get married to some other chick. (Man this character is funny... her first and only dialogue in the movie is "Nimdu love failure a? matte yake gadda shave madilla" meaning "Are you a failure in your love life? Then why haven't you shaved on your wedding day)
Well, i liked the movie cos i could relate to it very well. The hero goes to kerala, which i did. It was almost like being right there in the hero's shoes. Well thats what attracts us right. The whole point of a movie is that. The only way for them (as in the movie makers) to attract attention is to make a hero out of each and every one watching the movie. Make them feel the same emotions the hero is feeling, make the audience take the same decissions the hero takes. And i liked this so much cos i could relate to it very well.
One more thing that made me think is, the concept of love. Russel Peters in one of his comedy shows says, he does not want to married because he loves women too much; and if he gets married, then he will have to love woman, not women. Big difference right. Anyway in the end of the movie under consideration, all his former "lovers" are present at the scene. They come over and wish him for his step into new life. There is a wierd eye contact with each one of them as they are leaving, and we dont have a choice but to assume that he still loves them and they still love him but then thats life and they walk away.
So what is wrong in being in love with more than one person. Why not? This one thing that is a taboo, being in love with more than one person. And by this i dont mean the fatherly or motherly or sisterly love people talk about. (Talking about sisterly love, my god!! girls say this very nicely, "I looked at you like my brother" - That is sisterly love for you) Why cant a person love more than one person of the opposite sex, and still be accepted in the society? What is wrong with it? Why not?
Monday, February 06, 2006
Venkataramanaswami Govindaaaa GOVINDA
A visit to a temple is something i have detested all my life.
More than one reasons for that.
From the time i remember having the mind to decide on things, i have always some how doubted the presence of god
I think that everything that exists can be answered by science, and if it cant be yet, in a matter of time will be
I also beleive firmly that we become hindu, chirstian, muslim etc, not by choice but by force, because from the begining of our lives, as kids we are thought at home what god to follow, what rules to follow and what customs to follow
And we are so bound by the rules the elders lay on us that we dont have a choice but to follow them
That gives me a good enough reason not to visit the temple....
I also hate the concept of offering money to a temple.... I feel that this money is always misused.
Recently i happen to visit this saibaba temple close to where i stay
Not that i was forced into it, just that my cousins were going there and since i had nothing better to do, i thought i might as well go and pay a visit
It was a thursday evening which is supposed to be auspisious for the followers of saibaba
The place was jampacked.... full to the brim and overflowing....
The whole road in front of this place is in a mess... cars honking, trying to get past, people going haywire, roadside vendors making the best of the crowd to sell a few flowers of photographs of the lord
I dont understand why people go to a temple...
I have heard some of them say they get peace of mind and shit like that...
Well i dont see what their definition of peace of mind or religion or god is...
The whole point for the public is to get there and see god or whatever and get the "Prasadam"
And they are ready to do this at any cost.... They dont even mind abusing the people around just to get there
I wonder what they get out of all this
More than one reasons for that.
From the time i remember having the mind to decide on things, i have always some how doubted the presence of god
I think that everything that exists can be answered by science, and if it cant be yet, in a matter of time will be
I also beleive firmly that we become hindu, chirstian, muslim etc, not by choice but by force, because from the begining of our lives, as kids we are thought at home what god to follow, what rules to follow and what customs to follow
And we are so bound by the rules the elders lay on us that we dont have a choice but to follow them
That gives me a good enough reason not to visit the temple....
I also hate the concept of offering money to a temple.... I feel that this money is always misused.
Recently i happen to visit this saibaba temple close to where i stay
Not that i was forced into it, just that my cousins were going there and since i had nothing better to do, i thought i might as well go and pay a visit
It was a thursday evening which is supposed to be auspisious for the followers of saibaba
The place was jampacked.... full to the brim and overflowing....
The whole road in front of this place is in a mess... cars honking, trying to get past, people going haywire, roadside vendors making the best of the crowd to sell a few flowers of photographs of the lord
I dont understand why people go to a temple...
I have heard some of them say they get peace of mind and shit like that...
Well i dont see what their definition of peace of mind or religion or god is...
The whole point for the public is to get there and see god or whatever and get the "Prasadam"
And they are ready to do this at any cost.... They dont even mind abusing the people around just to get there
I wonder what they get out of all this
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